IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.
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The given diagram illustrates the production of olive
oil
Use synonyms
 from its tree.
Overall
Linking Words
, the manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 consists of 7 steps. Olive stones and
water
Use synonyms
 need to be extracted after the smashing and separating
process
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
the olive has to
collect
Wrong verb form
be collected
show examples
 from trees and sent to a
process
Use synonyms
 called rinsing, where these olives need to
wash
Wrong verb form
be washed
show examples
 with cold
water
Use synonyms
. After that, it has to
send
Wrong verb form
be sent
show examples
 through the belt for smashing. The smashing
process
Use synonyms
 is vital for
this
Linking Words
 production because it differentiates paste and stones.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, only the paste goes for
further
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
, and olive stones are removed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the pastes keep to the bag with the number of holes and go for pressing.
Then
Linking Words
, the
further
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
 is the separating where
oil
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 are separated. Again,
water
Use synonyms
 has been removed, and
oil
Use synonyms
 remains there.
Finally
Linking Words
,
oil
Use synonyms
 is stored in the storeroom and sent to different places via means of transportation for sale.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, process, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harvesting
  • Ripe
  • Sorting
  • Crushing
  • Paste
  • Grinding stones
  • Steel blades
  • Pressing
  • Extraction
  • Liquids
  • Centrifuged
  • Settle
  • Purified
  • Distribution
  • Olive trees
  • Labels
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