Some people want the governments to spend money looking for life in other planets, however. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. ‏Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether authorities had better invest in
space
exploration , especially other habitats or it is just overspending expenditure from the community’s budget as occurring domestic predicaments.
This
essay claims that
space
investment can increase the proportion of humans’s existence and the prospect of new materials despite enormous outgoings. It is undeniable that a high survival percentage of humans in
further
future is one of the most fatal influences. To be more specific,
people
actively cause widespread destruction of natural habitats annually without any revitalizing methods for plants
as well as
nutritious lands.
As a consequence
, in the near future, there will
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
no habitable areas for
people
to exist
along with
the additional issue of global overpopulation.
This
means
people
need to prepare for imperative solutions of migrating to other planets in order to maintain the substantial evolution of humans.
Therefore
, it is vital to have prior preparation on other livable planets to increase the totality of
people
’s survival.
Not withstanding
Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society needs to pay a fortune for
space’s
Change noun form
space
show examples
investment.
This
is
due to
the fact that it is the exorbitant cost of research and solving the incidental problems. In order words, scientists and professionals will probably have to invent more advanced gadgets that require a multitude of rare materials and grim determination if they want to conduct
further
experiments one
space
as well as
other unknown planets.
In addition
, during the developing process, there will appear a plethora of accidental malfunctions namely environmental issues or depletion of resources.
For instance
, in the 19th century, the Japanese spent more than 100 billion dollars on satellites launched into
space
. From the writer’s perspective, investing in outer
space
is a potential way to gain persistent power from using alien substances.
This
is because, in the solar system, there is an abundance of powerful energy that
people
are still not figuring out so there are lots of opportunities to enrich our resources.
This
also
enables humans to address the problems of fuel exhaustion encompassing non-renewable fuel. Take a recent experiment on the Moon’s soil, scientists have found some potential energy, which can be an alternative source of fuel in the future. In conclusion,
space
’s
dicoveries
Correct your spelling
discoveries
should be invested with the aims of new altered energy and stretching the proportion of
humans’s
Remove the s
humans’
show examples
existence in spite of expensive outgoings.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas by making your points more concise and straightforward.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with relevant examples, but ensure that your supporting details directly relate to and strengthen your arguments. This will help make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly address both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion. This will demonstrate a more balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Using more precise vocabulary and varying sentence structures will enhance the sophistication of your essay and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This contributes to overall coherence.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your main points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: