Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that many health issues are from sweet food and drink goods so it is should be
more high
Correct word choice
higher
price
to inspire Fix the agreement mistake
prices
people
to have less sweet products
. I absolutely disagree in
Change preposition
with
this
passage because this
approach is not effective in curbing sugar
intake and sugar
products
have a good point for patients and
.
Correct word choice
apply
Firstly
, sugar
products
do not only have weakness
but they can help patients with Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
hypoglycemic
and Replace the word
hypoglycemia
people
in principle
Correct your spelling
principal
case
. The trouble is not the Fix the agreement mistake
cases
price
but is
your choices. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
,You can choose to consume or not, but patients who want sugar
cannot make that choice. So they must pay for necessary
items to live. And Correct article usage
the necessary
for
Change preposition
apply
people
who love or want sugary products
can take care themselves
; they do not Change preposition
of themselves
do
any mistakes. But they must Verb problem
make
compensation
more Replace the word
compensate
in
Change preposition
for
products
them
love. Change the pronoun
they
Thus
,I think it is not fair with
Change preposition
to
who
do not do fault.
Increasing the Correct pronoun usage
those who
price
of sugary products
does not help eliminate health problems. Because nowadays people
addicted
to sweet taste, they definitely will pay for Add a missing verb
are addicted
this
. So this
approach is
not work for general Verb problem
does
people
but it will expand tax
and assist business Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
person
to extend Fix the agreement mistake
people
price
and take advantage of consumers for income ,in spite of cost of Fix the agreement mistake
prices
products
is low.
In the
conclusion, I think we should Correct article usage
apply
tell
about Verb problem
talk
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
point
and they will consume for themselves. I trust Fix the agreement mistake
points
people
do not want to get bad health. Because in the future they will difficulty
Add a missing verb
have difficulty
from
their Change preposition
with
behavior
.Change the spelling
behaviour
Submitted by jakeladder on
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task achievement
You should address the specific topic provided in the essay prompt. The topic provided was about meat consumption and health, but your essay discusses sugary foods and drinks. Align your essay with the given topic to stay relevant.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your arguments needs improvement. Some ideas are not fully developed, and others lack clarity. Make sure each paragraph introduces a clear point and develops it fully with evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay includes clear introductory and concluding paragraphs that set out your argument and summarize your main points effectively. Currently, the introduction and conclusion are not very strong.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to provide arguments and points, which shows your effort to develop a complete essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.