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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of homes,each worth 5 million dolaars or more,sold in eight cities.

The bar chart shows the number of homes,each worth 5 million dolaars or more,sold in eight cities.
The bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
homes
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 sold for over 5 million dollars in eight cities between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 consistently stood out as the most popular city throughout the entire period,
whereas
Linking Words
 Vietnam showed the lowest figures.
Dubai
Use synonyms
, Singapore, Sydney, Los Angeles, and Miami experienced relatively stable trends from 2009 to 2014. In 2009,
London
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
homes
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 sold at 523, closely followed by New York and Hong Kong, with approximately 476 and 388 residences respectively. Singapore, Sydney, Los Angeles, and Miami had
sales
Use synonyms
 ranging from 107 to 256 properties.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Dubai
Use synonyms
 reported the lowest
sales
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, with only 12
homes
Use synonyms
 sold. By 2014, Singapore and Los Angeles each had approximately 79
homes
Use synonyms
 sold,
whereas
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest at 1638.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Dubai
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
, with only 46 properties. Sydney, Miami, Hong Kong, and New York had
sales
Use synonyms
 ranging from 250 to 800
homes
Use synonyms
. In summary,
London
Use synonyms
 consistently had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
homes
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 sold for over 5 million dollars,
while
Linking Words
Dubai
Use synonyms
 consistently had the lowest. The other cities experienced varying levels of
sales
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, homes, london, dubai, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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