You are planning a holiday and want to find out about the kinds of holiday packages that can be arranged by a local company. Write a letter to the company to as for information about the holiday packages they offer. In your letter: say where and when you would like to go include details about the kind of holiday you would like to take say what kind of information you would like to receive.

#holiday #kinds #packages #company #information #offer

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to inform you regarding the

destination

that is

I interested

to visit

Change preposition

in visiting

show examples

while

asking for information about the

holiday

packages that you offer for me. Recently, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

destination

that is

very famous on social media I have seen. The

destination

is located in East Lombok which is called Sembalun.

Therefore

, I am very interested in choosing that

destination

for my

holiday

next week

date

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

16th. it will be the summer season I would like to take a

holiday

of one week full with my family including free transportation and lunch. and will be happy if the company provide some agenda

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

playing games for a

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

I would like to know what

is time

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the departure as a member

holiday

package and whether includes accommodation as well. there are

Change preposition

apply

show examples

destination

choices

that

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

will be great ways to make

Correct pronoun usage

it more

show examples

enjoyable. Thank you so much, I am looking forward to hearing you soon Yours Sincerely Levi

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Thu Jun 06 2024

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grammar

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles and slight spelling mistakes, for a smoother read.

task achievement

Consider providing a clearer request for specific information you need to know about the holiday packages, such as activities or special accommodations.

writing tone

The letter has a polite and appropriate tone, which is suitable for a formal request.

greeting and closing

The closing statement is well-written, showing politeness and a sense of anticipation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activitiy of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint?

In some countries ,children have very strict rule of behavior,while in other countries they are allowed to do anything they want .to what extent children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples .