Many offices and schools have open-space design these days. DO you think this is a positive or negative development?
Presently, a Easy spread of illness can be
mjority
of Correct your spelling
majority
building
Replace the word
buildings
such
as offces
and schools have open area Correct your spelling
offices
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
instead
of indvidual
rooms. In my Correct your spelling
individual
opinion
.Add a comma
opinion,
this
is a negative development which can lead to lack of privecy
,potentially harmful Correct your spelling
privacy
siuation
,Correct your spelling
situation
situations
also
Easy spread of illnessand
it Correct your spelling
illness and
ishard
staff to concentrate.
One serious problem that can arise from having open spaces is that it can lead to a lack of privacy. In these areas, especially in schools, teachers and students do not have private rooms to do their work and tasks. Correct your spelling
is hard
For example
, when students do not have a private room, they cannot easily complete their tasks in groups during their free time. As a result
, in offices and schools, people will lose their freedom to do anything because of the crowded places and lack of private space.
Another issue is thatCorrect article usage
the
drwbaks
of having Correct your spelling
drawbacks
drawback
open-space
. In Correct your spelling
open space
other word
, place without any space or Without walls or barriersChange the wording
another word
other words
spread
Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
deses
and viruses move freely. Correct your spelling
diseases
For instance
, if someone chach
a cold or Correct your spelling
catch
get
sick, which can make it easier for illnesses to get Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
it
from Correct pronoun usage
apply
other
. Fix the agreement mistake
others
As a result
, employees may need to take sick leave, which make
them unable to complete their work on time.
Change the verb form
makes
Finlly
, the Correct your spelling
Finally
lake
of Correct your spelling
lack
concentrate
and poor Replace the word
concentration
preformance
Correct your spelling
performance
it
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
be happen
especially for the staff. To Change the verb form
happen
explin
Correct your spelling
explain
furuther
, when the employees come to Correct your spelling
further
soulve
some issue in their Correct your spelling
solve
jobe
they need to some Isolat Correct your spelling
job
speace
to focus. IN Correct your spelling
space
this
way they not
able to concentrate Add a missing verb
are not
becauce
the area Correct your spelling
because
not
set up for work.
In conclusion, Add a missing verb
is not
althought
it become Correct your spelling
although
mor
Correct your spelling
more
dvelopment
in some Correct your spelling
developed
sutotion
Correct your spelling
situations
but
they cannot Correct word choice
apply
relize
the resulting damages Correct your spelling
realize
realise
for
opening the area which make them lose more .Change preposition
from
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Grammar
Improve spelling and grammar to enhance readability. For example, 'mjority' should be 'majority,' 'offces' should be 'offices,' 'indvidual' should be 'individual,' etc.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on constructing more coherent and cohesive sentences. For instance, connect sentences smoothly using appropriate linking words and phrases.
Task Response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This would strengthen the main points of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next, maintaining a consistent focus on the topic.
Task Response
You have clearly stated your opinion, which is important for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
You've attempted to provide examples to illustrate your points, which is a good strategy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.