Many offices and schools have open-space design these days. DO you think this is a positive or negative development?

#offices #schools #open-space #design #development

Presently, a

mjority

Correct your spelling

majority

building

Replace the word

buildings

show examples

such

offces

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offices

and schools have open area

design

Fix the agreement mistake

designs

show examples

instead

indvidual

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individual

rooms. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

this

is a negative development which can lead to lack of

privecy

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privacy

,potentially harmful

siuation

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situation

situations

also

Easy spread of

illnessand

Correct your spelling

illness and

ishard

Correct your spelling

is hard

staff to concentrate. One serious problem that can arise from having open spaces is that it can lead to a lack of privacy. In these areas, especially in schools, teachers and students do not have private rooms to do their work and tasks.

For example

, when students do not have a private room, they cannot easily complete their tasks in groups during their free time.

As a result

, in offices and schools, people will lose their freedom to do anything because of the crowded places and lack of private space. Another issue is that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

Easy spread of illness can be

drwbaks

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drawbacks

drawback

of having

open-space

Correct your spelling

open space

show examples

. In

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

, place without any space or Without walls or barriers

spread

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deses

Correct your spelling

diseases

and viruses move freely.

For instance

, if someone

chach

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catch

a cold or

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

sick, which can make it easier for illnesses to get

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

from

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

As a result

, employees may need to take sick leave, which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them unable to complete their work on time.

Finlly

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Finally

, the

lake

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lack

show examples

concentrate

Replace the word

concentration

show examples

and poor

preformance

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performance

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will

be happen

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

especially for the staff. To

explin

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explain

furuther

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further

, when the employees come to

soulve

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solve

some issue in their

jobe

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job

show examples

they need to some Isolat

speace

Correct your spelling

space

to focus. IN

this

way they

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

able to concentrate

becauce

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because

the area

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

set up for work. In conclusion,

althought

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although

it become

mor

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dvelopment

Correct your spelling

developed

in some

sutotion

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situations

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they cannot

relize

Correct your spelling

realize

realise

the resulting damages

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

opening the area which make them lose more .

Submitted by s_syedy on Thu Jun 06 2024

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Grammar

Improve spelling and grammar to enhance readability. For example, 'mjority' should be 'majority,' 'offces' should be 'offices,' 'indvidual' should be 'individual,' etc.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on constructing more coherent and cohesive sentences. For instance, connect sentences smoothly using appropriate linking words and phrases.

Task Response

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This would strengthen the main points of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next, maintaining a consistent focus on the topic.

Task Response

You have clearly stated your opinion, which is important for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion.

Task Response

You've attempted to provide examples to illustrate your points, which is a good strategy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many offices and schools have open-space design these days. DO you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.