IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

​​The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries: China and India. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

​​The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries: China and India. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#​​the #show #consumption #food #world #two #countries #china #india #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts given
explained
Wrong verb form
explain
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
overall
Linking Words
 consumption of various types of
food
Use synonyms
 in 2008, particularly in
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
,
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
, and the world trend. The
overall
Linking Words
 trend shows the most consumed
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide is manufactured
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 happened in
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
. In
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
followed
Add a missing verb
is followed
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
type
Add an article
the type
a type
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 that consists
vegetables
Change preposition
of vegetables
show examples
 and fruits.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
quite
Add a missing verb
is quite
show examples
 different in
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 because the second largest consumed
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 is animal
food
Use synonyms
. In 2008, processed
food
Use synonyms
 became the most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 showed by the
percentation
Correct your spelling
presentation
fermentation
 around 34%
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
,
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 vegetables and fruits became the second most consumed
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 that have 32
Use synonyms
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
. These
followed
Add a missing verb
were followed
show examples
 by nuts, and
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 animal
food
Use synonyms
 became the least
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 only 15%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
processed
food
Use synonyms
, animal
food
Use synonyms
 became the second
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in
India
Use synonyms
. It takes 27%
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
. These
followed
Add a missing verb
are followed
show examples
 by vegetables and fruits that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 less percentation
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 around 23%.
Due to
Linking Words
 the
percentation
Correct your spelling
presentation
fermentation
 data, Nuts and
seed
Fix the agreement mistake
seeds
show examples
 became the least consumed
food
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 only 11%
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 trend showed
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 processed
food
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
food
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide,
Use synonyms
china
Change preposition
in china
show examples
, and
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
. After the processed
food
Use synonyms
, people in
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 tend to
became
Change the verb
become
show examples
 vegan,
whila
Correct your spelling
while
 people in
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 choose to be
carnivorian
Correct your spelling
carnivorous
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, china, india, type, percents with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average consumption
  • Global composition
  • Food category
  • Meat, vegetables, fruits, grains
  • Percentage, proportion
  • Comparative analysis
  • Similarities and differences
  • Intake, consumption patterns
  • Striking differences
  • Notable similarities
  • Higher/lower consumption
  • Significant difference
  • Proportionate share
  • Relevant comparison
  • General trend
  • Insight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: