More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-relinace on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
The private are employed and often move from one area to another area. One of the big reasons is the
car
as their course means of transportation
is relied on by most of the people
. Nowadays, the amount
of Change the quantifier
number
cars
will increase
and it will have more impact on the environment. This
essay will envoy about problem and solution for people
who use a car
as a private car
.
Based on data from the Ministry of Transportation
of Indonesia shows that every year the percentage of private car
gradually Fix the agreement mistake
cars
increase
in Indonesia. Especially for Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
people
alive in the city,Correct pronoun usage
who
car
gives protection and comfort for
him. Actually, the fuel produced by Change preposition
to
cars
can give disadvantages to environment
like rising carbon monoxide and climate change. On the other impact is making crowded on the way Add an article
the environment
an environment
due to
almost of people
using private cars
alone and not inviting other people
. It also
creates a gap in society between rich and poor citizens like in the village.
Absolutely, the Government
should be concerned about this
problem. There are many solutions for reducing using private cars
. Firstly
, the Government
need to make a policy about the number in every private car
when driving on the way. For example
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
can’t use a car
alone and have to invite a minimumof 4people
in a private Correct your spelling
minimum of people
car
. If those who are violated the Government
give punishment both of pay money and social punishment. Secondly
, the quality and quantity should increase
due to
the people
will interest in using public transportation
. Then
, the Government
also
give a good example to netizens like using public transportation
every day.
In conclusion, the percentage of the
private Correct article usage
apply
cars
rose and gave more disadvantages to the environment. Then
, the Government
must make a decision about restrictions using private cars
. In prediction, the private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
car
will increase
especially in the city.Submitted by writingbersama on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job in identifying and discussing the problems of over-reliance on private cars and providing solutions, but the clarity can be improved. Ensure that your main points are clearly stated and supported by detailed and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Transitional phrases can help link your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to reduce errors and increase clarity. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Proofreading your essay before submission can help identify and correct these errors.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps give it a clear beginning and end.
supported main points
You have addressed both the problems of over-reliance on private cars and suggested practical solutions. This shows your understanding of the topic and ability to think critically.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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