IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The flow chart depicts the
salmon
was called
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the life
cycle
 of a species of large fish.
Overall
, there are three
step
Change to a plural noun
steps
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the life
cycle
 of
salmon
 start
eggs
Change preposition
with eggs
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
life in the
river
then
last
 in the sea. The first
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
salmon
 eggs, it was often
finded
Correct your spelling
found
show examples
 on the under stones in
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
river
. The time of
eggs
Fix the agreement mistake
egg
show examples
 process
around
Add a missing verb
is around
show examples
 5
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 6 months. It is growth in reeds and
then
 they
are moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 to
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
river
 as
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 stage. In the lower
river
Add a comma
river,
show examples
 the
salmon
 live approximately 4 years before it move to open sea.
Third
Change the article
The third
show examples
cycle
 is growing in the sea just below 5 years. There are sizes of the
salmon
 in accordance with
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
. In the
fry
Add a comma
fry,
show examples
 the
salmon
 has a size
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 3-8 centimeters.
Secondly
Change the word
Second
show examples
 is smolt the
salmon
 has
size
Add an article
a size
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 12-15
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
 and the
last
cycle
 is adult
salmon
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 length
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 70-76
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
.
Submitted by writingbersama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, cycle, river with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: