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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The flow chart depicts the
salmon
Use synonyms
was called
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the life
cycle
Use synonyms
 of a species of large fish.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three
step
Change to a plural noun
steps
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the life
cycle
Use synonyms
 of
salmon
Use synonyms
 start
eggs
Change preposition
with eggs
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
life in the
river
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
 in the sea. The first
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
salmon
Use synonyms
 eggs, it was often
finded
Correct your spelling
found
show examples
 on the under stones in
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
river
Use synonyms
. The time of
eggs
Fix the agreement mistake
egg
show examples
 process
around
Add a missing verb
is around
show examples
 5
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 6 months. It is growth in reeds and
then
Linking Words
 they
are moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 to
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
river
Use synonyms
 as
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 stage. In the lower
Use synonyms
river
Add a comma
river,
show examples
 the
salmon
Use synonyms
 live approximately 4 years before it move to open sea.
Third
Change the article
The third
show examples
cycle
Use synonyms
 is growing in the sea just below 5 years. There are sizes of the
salmon
Use synonyms
 in accordance with
Use synonyms
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
. In the
fry
Add a comma
fry,
show examples
 the
salmon
Use synonyms
 has a size
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 3-8 centimeters.
Linking Words
Secondly
Change the word
Second
show examples
 is smolt the
salmon
Use synonyms
 has
size
Add an article
a size
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 12-15
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
 and the
last
Linking Words
cycle
Use synonyms
 is adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 length
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 70-76
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, cycle, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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