In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In particular

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nations, higher education

students

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live

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show examples

family

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house

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houses

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during the

university

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years

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whereas

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in other nations

students

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apply

universities

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to universities

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in different

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city

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cities

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. There are some benefits for their social skills but

also

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some drawbacks

about

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their personal

life

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This

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essay will argue that the advantages of

this

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outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, people do not go to

the

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apply

show examples

university

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only for educational purposes, they

also

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want to be prepared for their social and personal lives. If they go to another

city

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for higher education, they will live far away

their

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from their

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parents and

as a result

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this

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, they have to take

numerous

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on numerous

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responsibilities

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show examples

their

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the

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age of

18’s

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. They face numerous adult

life

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issue

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issues

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and somehow learn how they handle it without

family’s

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the family’s

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aid.

Thus

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these

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apply

show examples

, their social and emotional intelligence

improved

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improve

show examples

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years

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year

show examples

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years

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year

show examples

and it will be

crucial

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a crucial

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development for their work

life

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According to

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Oxford

University

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’s recent research, people who live alone and take

responsibilities

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responsibility

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for personal reasons in

early

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their early

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20’s

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20s

such

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Wrong verb form

going

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to another

city

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for

university

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they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have

significant

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a significant

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percentage of

achieve

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achieving

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something in work

life

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because of their social skills

such

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as time and crises managements noticeably improved opposite to other

students

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On the other hand

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, if pupils live with family during

the

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their

show examples

university

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years

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, they can only focus on their major. Because their parents would do their domestic

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

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in their

house

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As a result

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this

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, they can easily build a successful academic career.

For instance

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, if

students

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live own

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house

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houses

show examples

, they will

responsible

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be responsible

show examples

for numerous adult issues,

such

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as paying bills

and

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apply

show examples

race, clean the

house

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However

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, they cannot concentrate on their academic circumstances and they saw upward trends

their

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in their

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grades. In conclusion,

move

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moving

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to another

city

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and

live

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living

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far away

their

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from their

show examples

families for higher education have pros and cons for

students

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Improvement

Replace the word

Improving

show examples

social skills and taking

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

for their work

life

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Add a missing verb

are more

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significant than their academic careers.

Because if

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they

Verb problem

are

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not ready

for

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solve a problem related to their daily lives

have

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having

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an academic career would not be

noticeable

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a noticeable

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competence anymore. In my opinion,

attend

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attending

show examples

Use synonyms

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

which is located in another

city

Use synonyms

’s benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

nur.kayaThu Jun 06 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed both aspects of the question effectively, outlining both the pros and cons of living away from home during university. However, ensure that your points are fully developed and that your arguments are consistent throughout the essay. Occasionally, your point may seem repetitive, so try to introduce fresh ideas.

coherence cohesion

Consider ensuring better logical structure by clearly delineating paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea which supports your main argument. Your introduction and conclusion are generally well-done, but the main body paragraphs should be more balanced and concise.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are a bit awkwardly constructed, and minor grammatical issues are present which can be distracting. Be sure to proofread your work for clarity and ensure each sentence flows well into the next. Furthermore, try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structure to make your essay more engaging.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarised the main points and presented a clear stance, which is crucial for a high-scoring essay.

task achievement

You made an effort to use relevant examples to support your arguments, which is important for demonstrating your understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly set up the essay and indicated the structure you would follow, which helps the reader understand your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

362 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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Your opinion

In some countries, it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Is this a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?