Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education?To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that having a
degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
degree
show examples
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
soleway
Correct your spelling
sole way
someway
for
employees
to get lucrative jobs . The writer of
this
essay agrees with
this
notion because it can
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
specialized
Correct article usage
the specialized
show examples
skills and persistence of candidates. To commence with , professional abilities are crucial when employers looking for new workers .
In other words
, the
employees
,
espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
white-collar ones , with adequate education backgrounds
also
have intensive knowledge in their fields .
As a result
, these potential workers will operate various important strategies that can lead their companies to success.
For example
, in 2018 ,
Vietnam
Change preposition
in Vietnam
show examples
, where 72% of firms just only recruited candidates who have good
alegrees
Correct your spelling
degrees
,
this
practice
also
increased 25% of
Add an article
the successful
show examples
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
rate of these companies.
Moreover
, educational qualifications
also
display whether or not
employees
are hard-working . To be more specific , candidates need to encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many challenges and difficulties if individuals long to acquire degrees
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their fields .
Consequently
, these
employees
are able to solve their assignments in
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective and swift ways .
For instance
, the highly successful company , Apple , accepted 200.000 officers who used to graduate from Havard University , which forced students to study more than 8 hours per day. In conclusion ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
degrees are crucial foundations for
employees
to seek adequate jobs
due to
proving professional abilities
as well as
perseverance.
Hence
, the single way to have
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
jobs is by finishing university courses.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Grammar
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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve sentence structure. Some sentences are too long and lack clarity. Break them down into shorter, more manageable ones to improve readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, such as the Vietnam company statistic and the Apple/Havard example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main ideas are coherent and the essay has a logical flow from one point to the next.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • guarantee a good job
  • university education
  • in-depth knowledge
  • specialized skills
  • professional fields
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • high-paying
  • fulfilling jobs
  • trades
  • self-taught skills
  • expertise
  • success
  • entrepreneurs
  • practical experience
  • personal drive
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • student loans
  • alternative pathways
  • job market
  • valuing skills
  • formal education
  • hands-on ability
  • academic qualifications
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