IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education?To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely believed that having a
degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
degree
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 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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soleway
Correct your spelling
sole way
someway
 for
employees
Use synonyms
 to get lucrative jobs . The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 notion because it can
demonstrates
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demonstrate
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specialized
Correct article usage
the specialized
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 skills and persistence of candidates. To commence with , professional abilities are crucial when employers looking for new workers .
In other words
Linking Words
 , the
employees
Use synonyms
 ,
espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
 white-collar ones , with adequate education backgrounds
also
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 have intensive knowledge in their fields .
As a result
Linking Words
 , these potential workers will operate various important strategies that can lead their companies to success.
For example
Linking Words
 , in 2018 ,
Vietnam
Change preposition
in Vietnam
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 , where 72% of firms just only recruited candidates who have good
alegrees
Correct your spelling
degrees
,
this
Linking Words
 practice
also
Linking Words
 increased 25% of
Add an article
the successful
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successful
Replace the word
success
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 rate of these companies.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , educational qualifications
also
Linking Words
 display whether or not
employees
Use synonyms
 are hard-working . To be more specific , candidates need to encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
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many challenges and difficulties if individuals long to acquire degrees
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their fields .
Consequently
Linking Words
 , these
employees
Use synonyms
 are able to solve their assignments in
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective and swift ways .
For instance
Linking Words
 , the highly successful company , Apple , accepted 200.000 officers who used to graduate from Havard University , which forced students to study more than 8 hours per day. In conclusion ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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degrees are crucial foundations for
employees
Use synonyms
 to seek adequate jobs
due to
Linking Words
 proving professional abilities
as well as
Linking Words
 perseverance.
Hence
Linking Words
, the single way to have
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
 jobs is by finishing university courses.

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Grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy. There are several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving these areas to make your writing more polished.
Lexical Resource
Enhance vocabulary variety. While the vocabulary used is appropriate, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve sentence structure. Some sentences are too long and lack clarity. Break them down into shorter, more manageable ones to improve readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, such as the Vietnam company statistic and the Apple/Havard example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main ideas are coherent and the essay has a logical flow from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • guarantee a good job
  • university education
  • in-depth knowledge
  • specialized skills
  • professional fields
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • high-paying
  • fulfilling jobs
  • trades
  • self-taught skills
  • expertise
  • success
  • entrepreneurs
  • practical experience
  • personal drive
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • student loans
  • alternative pathways
  • job market
  • valuing skills
  • formal education
  • hands-on ability
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
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