Many people believe that keeping young criminals in prison is the only way to stop them from committing crimes again. What are the advantages and disadvantages of keeping minor convicts behind bars?

#people #criminals #prison #crimes #convicts #bars

Some people believe that keeping young criminals in prison is an effective way to prevent them from reoffending. The impact of committing crimes is catastrophic for individuals, the environment, future generations, and the development of a country.

Therefore

, the government should enforce strict rules to address

this

issue. On one hand, there are several advantages to keeping young criminals in prison. By not allowing them a second chance to remain outside, the likelihood of them committing

further

crimes is reduced. In prison, they can be guided to become more aware of their actions and less impulsive.

Additionally

, the police can monitor and manage their activities, ensuring that they engage in positive and productive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

that help them overcome their criminal past.

On the other hand

, there are significant disadvantages to

this

approach. Young criminals may feel isolated and deprived of opportunities for personal growth if they are confined to a cell with limited access to the outside world. They

also

have the right to freedom and compassion within their society. It would be unfair if a former criminal, who has reformed and contributed positively to society, is not allowed to reunite with family and friends. In conclusion, the government and police should carefully assess the severity of crimes committed by young offenders and consider their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

during incarceration.

This

way, they can ensure that the rights of these individuals are respected

while

also

protecting society from

further

harm.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Jun 06 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the prompt and discusses both advantages and disadvantages, it could benefit from more specificity and clearer examples. Providing specific instances or theoretical scenarios could strengthen the relevance and depth of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The coherence of your essay is generally good, but ensuring a smoother transition between ideas could improve the overall flow. Using more linking words and phrases could help guide the reader seamlessly through your points.

coherence cohesion

You could further enhance your introduction by briefly mentioning what the main points of your essay will be. This will set clearer expectations for the reader, making your essay more structured and easier to follow.

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages of incarcerating young criminals, showing a balanced view of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You've successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that keeping young criminals in prison is the only way to stop them from committing crimes again. What are the advantages and disadvantages of keeping minor convicts behind bars?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or travel. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.