IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much data as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some report is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #data #research #business #world #report
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is good to share as much data as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the variety of these sentences and why
people
Use synonyms
 think so. Most members of the public are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of sharing information academically whenever possible. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea because before you share
this
Linking Words
 info, you expect it to be valuable and you have put in the effort to get
this
Linking Words
 information. Before sharing
this
Linking Words
 material,
people
Use synonyms
 may have spent a certain amount of time, so even if it seems meaningless to some
people
Use synonyms
, the owner of the science understands its value.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 creativity manifests itself more in the biotechnological field, the evidence of which was seen during the coronavirus era.
For instance
Linking Words
, solving the mystery of the pandemic, producing vaccines to prevent it, investigating the causes of the mutation of the virus one by one, obtaining results, and presenting them to the public requires great responsibility.
In addition
Linking Words
, some argue that certain
clue
Fix the agreement mistake
clues
show examples
, whether it's proprietary knowledge, personal data, or sensitive material, should be safeguarded and not freely shared. Freely sharing instruction allows a wider range of crowd to review it, improve it and
then
Linking Words
 re-publish as necessary. Some tip,
such
Linking Words
 as trade secrets, classified government data, or personal medical records, is considered too sensitive or valuable to be freely shared. Protecting
this
Linking Words
 information is crucial for various reasons, including maintaining competitive advantage, national security, and individual privacy.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is more accepted that the intelligence that has been confirmed is academically included in scientific research
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
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introduction conclusion
The essay would benefit from a more clearly defined introduction and a more comprehensive conclusion. Make sure that your introduction briefly outlines the main argument and that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. This will help in improving the overall coherence and cohesion.
logical structure
Some ideas in your essay feel underdeveloped or vaguely connected. Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, and that the supporting sentences are logically connected to it. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
supported main points
While your essay covers the main points, some of the ideas are not fully explored or detailed. Try to provide more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have provided relevant points and examples, particularly regarding the sharing of information during the coronavirus era.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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