Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some concerns of the world, there is an opinion that it is essential to spend
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
budget on building modern railway roads in order to allow innovative
trains
to travel between urban areas.
However
, there is an opposite opinion claiming that
instead
railway
Change preposition
of railway
show examples
construction, it should be provided to
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
public transport.
This
essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of the second one.
To begin
with, since people nowadays have
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
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life, their
demanding
Wrong verb form
demands
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
new fast
trains
are
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
day by day.
For example
, in some emergent situations,
such
as a pandemic, some countries can have a lack of medical and food
suplies
Correct your spelling
supplies
so they need some urgent help from others.
Therefore
, fast
trains
would be a better option
due to
their speed and capacity.
On the other hand
, the public transportation system is undeveloped and has only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
routes, especially in small towns. It is hard to get to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
particular destination
due to
the deficit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
buses and subway
trains
,
this
types of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
are not always safe because they are usually outdated.
For instance
, it is complicated for citizens who live in the
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
to
reach
Verb problem
get
show examples
their
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and have to waste plenty of time
waiting
Add the preposition
waiting for
show examples
their transport.
Moreover
, a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
years ago, there were
busses
Correct your spelling
buses
show examples
with old brakes which
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
into an accident.
Consequently
, it creates more opportunities for non-drivers. In my opinion, it is not necessary to invest in fast
trains
when we have good alternatives, namely plains,
ahips
Correct your spelling
ships
chips
and helicopters. Financial
recources
Correct your spelling
resources
should be allocated
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
transportation type which all people need. In conclusion, providing money
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more effective
trains
can benefit a lot, but I think it should be done to improve human lives.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
The essay provides a basic response to the task but lacks depth in discussing both sides comprehensively. To improve, provide more detailed arguments and examples for both views to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has some coherence, but there are abrupt transitions and a lack of clear topic sentences. Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs by using appropriate linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea.
grammar
Many sentences need grammatical corrections, such as subject-verb agreement and word choice. Pay attention to these details to make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
The writer attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and make an effort to frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of public transportation and innovative trains, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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