Fast food is becoming a part of live everywhere , negatively affecting our lifestyles and diets . To what extend do you agree or disagree ?
Consuming junk food is becoming all-pervasive in
this
modern world than ever previously . However
, there remains a discrepancy as to whether the total impacts of their lifestyles and diets have been advantageous and
disadvantageous to the sustainable growth of civilized society . Correct word choice
or
Whereas
many put forward the opposite proposition , I hold the belief that the imperfectness of these junk products
is far outweighed by the practical benefits .
First and foremost , the detrimental impacts that fast food has on customers are things that should be considered seriously . Obviously , junk products
can result in eventually lead to overweight as well as
diabetic conditions . It should be pointed out that individuals may be suffering from health issues when people consume a large amount of lipids, so more substances become redundant and turn into obesity . Furthermore
, one of the critical problems associated with these refreshments containing mass quantities of refined sugar has been the healthcare problems resulting in diabetic conditions . Via seeing a variety of precooked foods awareness campaigns, teenagers may be appealed to this
as well as
consumers are predicted to purchase this
sort of product.
In addition
, there is incontrovertible evidence that there is encourage an inactive lifestyle for younger generations . It can not be denied that there are large quantities of individuals who have a lot on their plate so they tend to ignore their mental and physical healthcare simultaneously. By dint of convenience food , saving time is one of the most advantages
factors that can help employees feel full Replace the word
advantageous
while
do
not Verb problem
apply
need
to cook everything . Wrong verb form
needing
Moreover
, because of this
function , citizens prefer to purchase ready meals to save their souls from a hectic schedule so it was
harmful consequences that people are becoming inactive Verb problem
has
as well as
turning a blind eye to healthy products
especially fresh and organic foods to process complete meals for themselves.
To recapitulate , instant meals with the convenient amenities that they off human beings has
been a position of strength for the evolutionary development of the Correct subject-verb agreement
have
state of the art
world Add a hyphen
state-of-the-art
while
their detrimental impacts must be considered seriously to consume this
Change the determiner
this product
these products
products
. Therefore
, it is the reason that caused a wide range of health issues so clients should be alert when purchasing it through advertisements.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on using transitions more effectively to guide the reader through your points. For example, words like 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'However' can help provide a clearer logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your supporting points are directly related to that idea. This will help in maintaining focus within each paragraph.
task achievement
Be cautious with your word choice to avoid awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors. Proofreading your work can help you catch these mistakes.
task achievement
You should aim to include more varied sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
To reinforce your arguments, try to use more specific examples and evidence. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Your essay touches upon relevant aspects of the topic and provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of fast food.
coherence cohesion
You have organized your essay into clear paragraphs, which helps in maintaining clarity for the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example