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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Credit card makes people to indebted. Does the advantage of credit card outweigh their drawbacks?

#credit #card #people #advantage
It is argued that individuals tend to owe a big sum of money
due to
 the reckless usage of
credit
 cards. I believe that the drawbacks of possessing a
credit
card
 outweigh the benefits because
despite
Add the comma(s)
, despite
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 the availability of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emergency monetary backup, it
direct
Change the verb form
directs
show examples
 people toward spending without any awareness of the consequences. The main advantage of holding a
credit
card
 is the insurance of currency in the bank account, which can be used as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emergency funding.
This
 can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the sense of security and self-confidence to confront any unexpected fiscal issues.
Moreover
, banks tend to provide
short period
Add a hyphen
short-period
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 loans with high interest
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 in an insignificant period of time just by filling
the
Change preposition
out the
show examples
 application and using the
credit
card
 number as a grantee for payment.
In addition
, the outstanding offers and purchasing points that
card
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
show examples
 can get tend to entice more spending.
For instance
, some renowned mega-moles
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
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 unprecedented discounts for specific
credit
cards
Change the noun form
card
show examples
 holders. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
irresponsible
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 played a key role in the global economic crisis. The world market inflation reached an unprecedented level
due to
 the intense usage of
credit
 cards as they are not
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
actual physical money.
Therefore
, the raised prices, the obvious poverty, and the demolished
middle classed
Correct your spelling
middle-class
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 people represent
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
major risks which concern several governments all over the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
. And the only solution is to increase the
debit
Correct your spelling
debt
show examples
 to coop the trendless spending.
For Example
, some Middle Eastern nations have been facing economic challenges
due to
 the lack of currency in their national banks which
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
 them to
loan
Wrong verb form
loans
show examples
 from the
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 states or the
world international bank
Correct your spelling
World International Bank
show examples
. In conclusion, holding a
credit
card
 leads to a certain financial burden on families despite the swift flow of currency.
However
, the economic crisis in several countries is a more significant downside.
Submitted by ahmed_berry310eg on

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language
Ensure to use precise vocabulary and expressions, avoiding small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'make people to indebted' should be 'makes people indebted').
content
Try to elaborate more on how credit cards lead to economic crises. Provide clear connections and more detailed explanations.
structure
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs for each idea. This can improve readability and coherence.
content
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, covering both advantages and disadvantages.
structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
content
The ideas presented are clear and relatively comprehensive, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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