The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.

The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates how
teenagers
spend their time at the weekend by doing some
activities
. Here are all the
activities
that we are going to describe in
this
report: going to pubs/discos, watching
television
, shopping, doing homework, doing sport, watching DVDs and bowling. The bar chart shows that
teenagers
have the lowest interest in bowling but the highest interest in watching
television
.
Teenagers
like the most to watch
television
moreover
they spent 25
hours
per
week
in 2002 and
then
in 2007
this
value increased to 35-36
hours
per
week
. We can say they spent almost 2 days a
week
just watching TV, which
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not good. Another point worth highlighting is bowling. Teenager’s interest was slowly falling from 4 to 1 hour per
week
.
Additionally
, about other
activities
such
as going to pubs/discos and shopping the chart shows that their result
also
increased, since 2002 and they spent 17-18
hours
per
week
going to pubs/discos and 15
hours
per
week
shopping. Other
activities
Change noun form
activity's
activities'
show examples
result was felt but not significantly. In summary, from 2002 to 2007
teenagers
wanted more to do nothing by watching
television
than do other
activities
that required some movement.
Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teenagers, activities, television, hours, week with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: