Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In recent
yaers
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years
, views about
importance
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the importance
show examples
of education have changed in modern life. Some individuals
argued
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argue
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that education is
an
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apply
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essential to
get
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getting
show examples
Correct article usage
an appupation
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appupation
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occupation
,
while
other citizens
belive
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believe
show examples
that experience and skills play
significant
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the significant
a significant
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role
than
Correct word choice
other than
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knowledge.
This
essay will
discusses
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discuss
show examples
both sides of the given opinion.
To begin
with,
its
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it's
it is
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clear, that
civilation
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civilisation
is the most
nessesary
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necessary
part of our life. When employers choose workers they
always
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are always
show examples
attracted to background education. If someone is knowledgeable, knows
Correct your spelling
theoretical
teoretical
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the teoretical
show examples
space of
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introduction conclusion present
The essay needs a clearer introduction. Start with a broader context before narrowing down to the specific argument.
supported main points
Expand on your main points and provide more detailed explanations or examples to support them. For instance, you could mention specific jobs where education is crucial and others where experience and skills are more important.
complete response
Ensure that your essay fully covers both sides of the argument. The part explaining the role of experience and skills is missing and needs to be developed.
complete response
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors to make your ideas more clearly understood. For example, 'years' instead of 'yaers' and 'occupation' instead of 'appupation'.
introduction conclusion present
The essay topic is clearly stated, and it's evident what you're going to discuss.
introduction conclusion present
Your thesis statement is concise and sets up the discussion well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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