It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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It is essential for juveniles to differ between right and wrong from a young age. To help them learn,

punishment

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should be involved.

This

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essay strongly agrees with

this

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statement because by giving

punishment

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, children will learn the

consequences

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of their acts. Adults can punish them by grounding them. Juveniles should learn that there are

consequences

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to every action they do. They can learn

this

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value by punishing them if they do not follow the good values that exist in society.

Thus

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they will be more careful and weigh down their intentions before they act. The

punishment

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teaches them that good behaviour will bring positive effects and

otherwise

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bad ones will cause them to suffer.

Thus

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when they grow up they can be a model citizen.

For example

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, when children play

together with

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toys, if they want to borrow their friend’s, they should ask for it nicely and not snatch it away from them.

Therefore

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they can share and play happily together.

This

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value will bring harmony when they lead their adult lives. Instilling the moral value of every action that has

consequences

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for teenagers can be done by grounding them in their room to reflect on their wrongdoings.

This

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measure enables juveniles to look at what they have done and reflect on it. They should understand the reasons behind what is said to be wrong in their action, and the negative impacts they cause.

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is to develop their sense of responsibility

thus

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when they are adults they have good moral values.

For instance

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, in the US, it is a common practice for parents to restrict their children from going out of their bedrooms before they can clearly explain what is wrong with their previous actions. In conclusion,

punishment

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can be seen as a way to teach teenagers about moral values so they can understand that there are always

consequences

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to their actions. A kind of

punishment

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that can be implemented is restricting them from going out before realising their wrongdoings.

intanannisa.iaSun Dec 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay generally follows a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure to organize your ideas more effectively to enhance the logical progression throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

You have provided an introduction and conclusion, which clearly set out your opinion on the topic. Consistent use of this framework throughout your writing will help maintain a focused and organized response.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported within the text, but consider developing them further with a wider range of supportive detail. Additionally, try to vary your sentence structures and link ideas more seamlessly to improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

task achievement

You have completed the task by addressing the extent to which you agree with the given opinion and by suggesting a form of punishment. However, further exploration of alternative viewpoints could enrich your discussion and demonstrate a more complex understanding of the issue.

task achievement

Your ideas on the topic are clear and comprehensive, but to elevate your essay, include a more in-depth analysis of the benefits and potential drawbacks of punishment. This will add depth to your response and showcase your ability to fully engage with the question.

task achievement

While you provided a relevant example, strive to use a variety of specific examples to support your points. This will illustrate your argument more convincingly and display your ability to relate abstract ideas to real-world scenarios.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
positive reinforcement
consequences
time-outs
removal of privileges
open communication
clear expectations
consistency
fairness
disciplinary action
proportionate
moral values
internalization

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