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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#friendships #place #people #face
In recent years, the issue of online
friendships
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friendships'
friendship's
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lack
Wrong verb form
lacking
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depth
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of depth
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while
 in-person connections are true
friendships
 has gained significant attention. In my point of view, I consider myself
as
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apply
show examples
an advocate of
this
 idea. There are justifiable reasons to note that people you make through social networks can easily get scammed. Chief of
this
 is that some bad guys may create fake accounts to scam you of your money or personal information, and it's not a real
friendship
.
For example
, they use
this
 information to carry out illegal activities
such
 as unauthorized withdrawals, online shopping, or even stealing your identity.
Moreover
,
friendship
 when online will not be able to have
back and forth
Add a hyphen
back-and-forth
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 interactions
such
 as hugs and holding hands. That reduces the connection and interaction of
friendship
.
Hence
, making online friends is not a reliable
friendship
.
On the other hand
,
friendship
 when you can meet in real life can bring many good memories to you.
This
 can be explained by the fact that when we can face each other, we can easily exchange, confide and share interesting experiences. More than that, true
friendship
 can go hand in hand on journeys. To be precise,
traveling
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travelling
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 with friends can create emotional moments that
last
 a lifetime, enhancing the experience of
friendship
 in general.
Therefore
, face-to-face
friendship
 will bring you many memorable memories. In conclusion, I believe that true
friendships
 can only be built on physical presence and shared experiences, which cannot take place in virtual
friendships
. That's why real-life
friendships
 are even more meaningful.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, consider providing a clear outline of your main points in the introduction. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your ideas by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will help illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided relevant points to support your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
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