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Band 2.5

THE PLANS BELOW SHOW THE LAYOUT OF A PUBLIC LIBRARY NOW, AND HOW IT WILL LOOK AFTER DEVELOPMENT

#plans #show #layout #library #development
Contained in the plans is information pertaining to changes which took place in the public
library
 at the present and after its intended development. From an
overall
 perspective, it can be observed that the
library
 will be expanded to the east and doubled its size to make way for the construction of supplement facilities. Focusing on the east of the
library
, there will be a new entrance into the kid’s area where the kid’s books will be relocated next
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and new seating will be added. To the right-hand side of the entrance, the computer room will be constructed and to the north of the kid’s zone will be a store and a staff room,
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 the addition of
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 entrance. Moving on to the west side of the building, the main
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 is the existing
library
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
will be narrowed
due to
 the erection of a wall from the north to the south.
Moreover
, the seating area, fantasy book shield and mystery field will
relocated
Change the verb form
be relocated
relocate
show examples
 to the west side.
However
, the male and female restroom, romance and thriller
books shield
Fix the agreement mistake
book shields
show examples
 have remained unchanged.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good introduction, but it would benefit from a clearer conclusion that summarizes the changes described.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using appropriate linking phrases and connecting ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Expand on the details provided in the plans, particularly the changes on the west side of the library, to give a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Be sure to avoid grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'is the existing library' which should be 'is in the existing library', and 'shields,' which should be 'shelves.' These small changes can improve clarity.
task achievement
You have effectively identified the key changes in the library's structure and layout, which is essential in Task 1.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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