Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #waste #money

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Whether being interested in events which can improve other

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countries

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countries'

country's

show examples

relationships or a waste of

money

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, the main purpose of

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Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

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is still an argued problem.

However

Linking Words

, from prior experience, it is more beneficial to admit that the

Olympics

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is an exciting

event

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due to

Linking Words

their

Change the word

the

show examples

benefit that it could bring about and the improvement of companionship among

countries

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around the

world

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despite those who believe that

this

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global

event

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is invested in meaninglessly. It must be understood that the

Olympics

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is a global

event

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that not only brings other

countries

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together but

also

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improves the health of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

This

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due to

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its significant effect on the

world

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Olympic

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games

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are events that nations around the

world

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collaborate with each other to organize every four years. With

this

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commitment,

relationship

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relationships

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among these

countries

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will

increased

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increase

be increased

show examples

through

this

Linking Words

global

event

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Thus

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, the

Olympics

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can be a bridge

connect

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connecting

show examples

people

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all over the

world

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However

Linking Words

, some

people

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think that

organization

Correct article usage

the organization

show examples

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

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is a waste of

money

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, they believe that

money

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can be used

Change preposition

for

show examples

better reasons. There is a belief that the

Olympics

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bring

Verb problem

are

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nothing but

money

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-consuming

due to

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its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

major effect.

Therefore

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, we can

image

Verb problem

apply

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easily the amount of

money

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that has been spent on it. They are right to a certain extent, but the amount of

this

Linking Words

money

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is used as a reward for the winner of

this

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event

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for their effort. Fortunately, the

winner

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winners

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usually

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

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not keep

money

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for themselves, they will offer it for charity

actvities

Correct your spelling

activities

and the poor so it can be hoped that

money

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is used reasonably. From

this

Linking Words

writer's experience, the

Olympics

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is an

event

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that can encourage

people

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take

Add the particle

to take

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part in

sport

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sports

show examples

activities

due to

Linking Words

its important impact. Those who have been inspired will have motivation to do exercises,

as well as

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improve their health.

For example

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, there was a research in 2008 that shows the percentage of

people

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who attended

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apply

show examples

sport

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sports

show examples

activities was highly increased in the period when the

Olympics

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happened.

Hence

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

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games

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can enhance the health of not only the writer

bus

Correct your spelling

but

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also

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the society. Clearly,

this

Linking Words

essay has shown the benefits which the

Olympics

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bring about are superior to the

money

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-consuming.

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

Use synonyms

should be continued.

Submitted by [email protected] on Fri Jun 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

A more structured approach to organizing your ideas would enhance understanding. Consider clearly marking your paragraphs with topic sentences that directly relate to the task response.

task achievement

Clarify and elaborate your arguments with more specific and relevant examples. Examples should be concrete and directly support your main points.

language use

Review grammar to avoid minor errors and enhance readability. Editing could polish your sentences, contributing to a smoother reading experience.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both perspectives on the issue, providing a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

You have made good use of transitions and cohesive devices to link your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion successfully summarises your arguments and reinforces your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

375 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster global unity
international camaraderie
cultural exchange
mutual understanding
platform for showcasing
national pride
human achievement
economic benefits
influx of tourism
boost local economies
infrastructure investments
long-term benefits
enormous costs
pressing social issues
white elephants
poor return on investment
environmental impact
short-lived event

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Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.