Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In current times, more individuals believe that
Olympic
competition is necessary for bonding relationships among other countries
in the world. But there was a statement that one of the worst consequences of Correct article usage
the Olympic
Olympic
is money Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
wasting
Wrong verb form
wasted
for
preparation and participation, Change preposition
on
as a result
, the nations wanting
take part in Add the particle
wanting to
Correct article usage
the Olympic
Olympic
must spend a large amount of money Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
instead
of spending on other aspects of residents's life
. I Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
compare thr
pros and cons to share my opinion about that statement.
In my Correct your spelling
the
pointview
, it can be seen clearly that Correct your spelling
view
Olympic
games are a Correct article usage
the Olympic
culture
match where Replace the word
cultural
each
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
individuals from all the Change preposition
apply
countries
in
the Earth gather and show their talents or skills in many types of sports. As said, the Change preposition
on
Olympic
competition take
Change the verb form
takes
atletes
to high levers of Correct your spelling
athletes
famous
and Replace the word
fame
wealthy
which can lead them to their dreams. Replace the word
wealth
Moreover
, not only athletes
enjoying the match become more well-known but Add a missing verb
do athletes
also
their countries
get more attention from other highly developed countries
.
However
, Olympic
games are Correct article usage
the Olympic
the
massive world events, so Correct article usage
apply
appearing
financial burdens Verb problem
apply
is
quite unavoidable. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Bulding
facilities, medical facilities, training, advertising,... can waste most of Correct your spelling
Building
money
even Add an article
the money
there
are many developed nations. With those Correct word choice
though there
moneys
, we can use it to improve Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
infracture
of Correct your spelling
infrastructure
city
, expand pathways, Add an article
the city
invest
Correct word choice
and invest
more
factories or industrial areas to Change preposition
in more
elvolve
Correct your spelling
enhance
finance
aspect of the Correct article usage
the finance
countries
.
Fix the agreement mistake
country
This
writer believes that each of
Change preposition
apply
governments
in Fix the agreement mistake
government
countries
should know how much they need to spend on Olympic
event
or on Fix the agreement mistake
events
other thing
.Change the wording
another thing
other things
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on
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task achievement
The essay should present a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to indicate the writer's stance and preview the main points.
task achievement
There should be more specific examples to support the key arguments for both sides.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence to improve logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to create a more fluent and cohesive essay.
coherence cohesion
Be more careful with grammar and vocabulary to avoid confusion and ambiguity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay attempts to express complex ideas and viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.