Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development?
Currently for entering into
university
have many competitions among students
. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
students
study
hard and develop their minds, they lost
their health and fall into depression.
Many Wrong verb form
lose
students
try to study
in the best university
in the world, so they are
start Unnecessary verb
apply
study
hard from Fix the infinitive
to study
young
age or go to Add an article
a young
in
extra classes. When they are going to enter the Change preposition
apply
university
they are come
across a lot of competition. Change to the active voice
come
have come
For instance
, applicants who try to enter the
Oxford Correct article usage
apply
university
Capitalize word
University
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
study
day and night for the competition. Even if they are
do not enter Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Oxford Correct article usage
apply
university
they can Capitalize word
University
study
other
Change preposition
at other
high level
universities, because when they Add a hyphen
high-level
tried
to apply is that Oxford Wrong verb form
try
university
they Capitalize word
University
became
very smart.
In the Wrong verb form
become
world
a lot of applicants try to enter Add a comma
world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
after graduation, so they start study
all the time and forget their personal life. Teenagers which very young should consume many vitamins for good growth. But they do not care about their health, because they want to Wrong verb form
studying
study
the
best universities. Change preposition
at the
For example
, many students
who really want to apply the university
they are stop going to parties or going outside with their friends and they are
concentrate only Unnecessary verb
apply
in
their ambitions.
In conclusion, after Change preposition
on
ending
school Verb problem
finishing
apply
the Wrong verb form
applying
university
may be a little stressful but studying in
the subject which Change preposition
apply
students
want can be the best way for developing
Change preposition
to develop
students
.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to refine your introduction to clearly present your main ideas. A well-defined thesis statement can help improve readability and focus the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing more organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences and smooth transitions. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to the points you're making. This will help illustrate your arguments more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
Try to dig deeper into your main points to provide a more thorough analysis. This will show a strong understanding of the topic and provide a richer argument.
task achievement
You have touched upon both the positive and negative aspects of increased competition for university entry, which shows a balanced approach.
task achievement
The conclusion does a good job of summarizing the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.