Some people believe that children are given too much free time.They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their time?
There is a common belief that
parents
should force their Use synonyms
children
to spend more Use synonyms
time
doing homework Use synonyms
instead
of relaxing and entertaining. The writer of Linking Words
this
essay firmly agrees with the notion for several reasons, as the Linking Words
time
taken for studying would not only enhance a child's Use synonyms
education
but Use synonyms
also
create punctuality during the learning period.
The key aspect to why there is a trend of reducing offspring Linking Words
leisure
Use synonyms
time
is that superfluous Use synonyms
time
is usually spent playing video games, Use synonyms
also
using technical gadgets. To explain Linking Words
further
, like an undeniable fact, the more minors spend on technology devices, the more they are addicted to it. Linking Words
As a result
, it will influence Linking Words
children
badly in various ways, Use synonyms
for example
, health and Linking Words
education
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, relaxing for a long Linking Words
time
could reduce a child's creativity Use synonyms
due to
the lack of brainstorming Linking Words
along with
entertainment.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
leisure
Use synonyms
time
would be very significant for many reasons. After a day of hard work, Use synonyms
children
should be given some moments for resting, which could be considered a price for doing well, and Use synonyms
also
a way for Linking Words
parents
to show their kids that they do care about what their progeny Use synonyms
like
. Take a look at the final result, the relationship between the child and Add a missing verb
are like
parents
would be improved a lot.
Despite the above benefit of free Use synonyms
time
bringing to both the youth and their Use synonyms
parents
, the writer still believes that Use synonyms
leisure
Use synonyms
time
of Use synonyms
children
should be reduced and replaced by small-period for learning. Obviously, spending more Use synonyms
time
studying will enhance the Use synonyms
education
of individuals, and lead them to a future that they or their Use synonyms
parents
have expected. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, learning duration can provide more sense of increasing punctuality, it can be explained through the schedule for learning every day. Unlike Linking Words
time
for playing or relaxing, its sustainability day-by-day would be a good method for Use synonyms
children
to do, not just study, everything on Use synonyms
time
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
Linking Words
leisure
Use synonyms
time
can bring Use synonyms
children
benefits, spending too much Use synonyms
time
playing or entertaining would be against those benefits, and even cause harm. Use synonyms
Instead
, Linking Words
parents
should force their Use synonyms
children
to do more study or research that could enhance their Use synonyms
education
, and Use synonyms
also
punctualityLinking Words
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer separation of arguments in each paragraph. Try to focus on one main point per paragraph and support it with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to clarify and support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and help the reader understand better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to make the transitions smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented and clearly outline your stance and summary.
task achievement
You made an effort to balance the arguments by discussing both sides of the issue, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.