IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea
Dear John, I'm very happy to hear from you after a long time. I'm writing a letter to give you advice about finding a job as you already completed your graduation in the project management field. I would say that if you prefer to study higher education
then
 you need more money but currently, you have to support your parents as I know your family's condition.
Therefore
, you don't feel happy if you ask for financial support from your parents. So, I believe you
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to find a job which helps you to manage your expenses and
also
 provide
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your family. You can apply for jobs related to your field
such
 as project coordinator or as an administrator which helps you start your career in the management field. I hope you like my suggestion and I will meet you soon. Best Regards, Love
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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task response
You've articulated a clear reason for why your friend should opt for a job rather than pursuing further education, touching on financial constraints and familial responsibilities. Expanding on how gaining professional experience could be beneficial in the long-term would add depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a logical structure, with each paragraph introducing a new point. To enhance coherence, consider linking these ideas more fluidly. Phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'This being said,' could help transition between your recommendations and reasoning.
writing style
You've used a friendly and supportive tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for writing to a friend. Consider using more varied sentence structures and incorporating examples or hypothetical situations to make your advice more vivid and engaging.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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