Some people say that the main environment on problem for our time is to loss of particulare species of plans an animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
People
believed
that the major issue related to the environment is the extinction of Wrong verb form
believe
the
rare Correct article usage
apply
animals
but the
others Correct article usage
apply
argued
that there are many problems more urgent than. The writer of Wrong verb form
argue
this
essay agreed that the disappearance of uncommon animals
is not the most instant problem
.
It can be seen that there are many important problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
affect to
the Wrong verb form
affecting
environmant
. Nowadays, people are faced Correct your spelling
environment
to
many environmental issues Change preposition
with
such
as the run
out of fossil fuels, climate Wrong verb form
running
changes
or deforestation Fix the agreement mistake
change
have
a direct impact Correct pronoun usage
that have
in
people's Change preposition
on
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, Correct article usage
apply
the
climate changes make the earth Correct article usage
apply
is getting
Wrong verb form
get
hoter
and Change the word
hotter
hoter
, Change the word
hotter
Correct word choice
and then
then
the melting ice Correct word choice
and then
lead
to the Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
increasing
of seawater Replace the word
increase
Correct your spelling
directly
diractly
Correct your spelling
directly
affect to
the coastal Wrong verb form
affecting
resident
. Fix the agreement mistake
residents
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therefor
, it is easy to understand that we Correct your spelling
Therefore
Correct your spelling
need
nee d
to focus on many Correct your spelling
need
another
environmental Correct quantifier usage
other
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
However
, many residents argued that the disappearance of special animals
is the most urgent issue. Every animals
is important and if some Change to a singular noun
animal
animals
disappear, it will be
affect Unnecessary verb
apply
to
the cycle of life. Change preposition
apply
This
point may be true, but it not
very urgent if just one animal species Add a missing verb
is not
disappear
and we need to pay attention to Correct subject-verb agreement
disappears
another issues
, Replace the adjective
another issue
other issues
otherwise
, we should not ignore the animals
The writer believed that we need to concentrate on many different problem
. Change to a plural noun
problems
This
is due to
the fact that we faced
Wrong verb form
face
to
a lot of significant Change preposition
apply
concern
and Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
deal
with Wrong verb form
dealing
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal problems
problem
is waste
Correct article usage
a waste
a
lot of time and money. Because of Change preposition
of a
this
, there are so many difficult
to Replace the word
difficulties
takle
Correct your spelling
tackle
take
with
and it Change preposition
apply
more
important than the extinction of Add a missing verb
is more
the
rare Correct article usage
apply
animals
.
In conclusion, the issue with species animals
is very important but there are many more urgent problems we need to tackleChange preposition
of animals
to
. Change preposition
apply
Hence
, it should be pay
attention Change the verb form
be paying
be paid
on
several Change preposition
to
matter
.Change to a plural noun
matters
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and includes a discussion of both views about the main environmental problems. However, the ideas could be more clearly and comprehensively presented. You should elaborate more on your points and provide more specific examples to support them.
coherence cohesion
Your essay’s structure needs improvement. The introduction could be clearer, and the conclusion should more strongly summarize the main points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and your ideas should flow more logically from one to the next. Using transitional phrases could help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to catch grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Improving the grammatical accuracy and vocabulary will make your essay more polished and easier to follow.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt and discussing both views, which is an important part of achieving a high task response score.
task achievement
You show awareness of different environmental issues and make some valid points about why some issues might be more urgent than the extinction of rare animals.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.