In many countries, the umber of animals and plants is decreasing. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large number of nations around the world have witnessed a universal issue of losing their natural biodiversity as the number of plants and animals has reduced significantly. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
evaluate some of the causes that lead to the manifestation of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
before proposing some measures that could effectively reduce its severity. There are some major reasons that lead to the
problem
Use synonyms
of having the number of animals and plants reduced. In the past, the limited population size allowed the harmonious symbiosis between humans and their ecosystems, meaning that people could grow sustainably without damaging the environment to an irreversible extent.
However
Linking Words
, as our population peaks, the demand for agricultural products and many other goods has surged
accordingly
Linking Words
, making it necessary to expand human
activitites
Correct your spelling
activities
to uncharted
teritories
Correct your spelling
territories
. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
means that many animals and plants would lose their natural habitats, leading
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
massive reduction in their numbers. Despite the severity of
this
Linking Words
devastating environmental issue, there are some applicable solutions that can employed to address it effectively. As the culprit of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
is
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the unsustainable practice of agricultural activities, novel innovations and revolutions in the way we create food must be formulated.
For instance
Linking Words
, we could adopt the model of urban farming, which means that the creation of food can be incorporated with normal buildings and construction, leading to more controlled involvement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. In conclusion, the
problem
Use synonyms
of losing biodiversity has been
hauting
Correct your spelling
haunting
many nations around the world.
This
Linking Words
has
caused
Add a missing verb
been caused
show examples
by humans' agricultural activities
due to
Linking Words
increased population size.
Thus
Linking Words
, an effective measure should start
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
the transformation of these activities,
makingthem
Correct your spelling
making them
more sustainable and less pervasive
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the environment.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response that addresses both parts of the question effectively. However, more specific examples could strengthen your argument. Consider including real-life cases or more detailed scenarios to illustrate your points further.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and ideas flow well, there is a minor issue of typos and slight inaccuracies (e.g., 'uman' instead of 'human'). Proofreading for such errors will improve your overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay is clear and comprehensible, addressing the prompt with a structured approach.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support your main points, and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
What to do next:
Look at other essays: