Some people think that the internet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A Group of citizens perceived that progression concerning the
internet
has gathered individuals together
however
, others conclude that humans and societies have become increasingly loner. Different
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
argued with each perception but I believe that it made folk from every corner of the globe to be more connected.
Firstly
,
due to
the burgeoning of the
internet
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
get connected regardless of where they are located in a part of the world. Even families with different time zones could access online communication by utilizing a deluge of social media platforms like Facebook
messenger
Capitalize word
Messenger
show examples
and Instagram.
For instance
, siblings residing in Asia and Europe are capable of enjoying quality voice calls over the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Consequently
,
this
development made the family ties more solid.
However
, the vast majority of
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
vehemently argued that
this
innovation placed communities in dreadful isolation
while
indulging themselves in social media; unity slowly vanished day by day for the reason that time was consumed solely by browsing the
internet
instead
of having a group organization physically.
For example
, the Philippines which is renowned as a social media addict in the world tend to lose its community strong
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
because everybody is busy on their own cellphone and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Hence
,
this
improvement proves that the
internet
breaks the unification of society.
Secondly
, a person might have their own perspective on how to magnify the effect of the
internet
. Even in my own experience, communication became more accessible
due to
the advent of technology and it serves as a major aid to connect and reconnect with my long-lost friends;
likewise
, it is a great source of the medium in emergency situations since the
internet
is available and utilized worldwide.
As a result
, it is a great privilege to encounter
this
internet
innovation. In summary, the development of the
internet
made public from different parts of the world to be connected and closer. Despite others being intensely opposed
this
would place communities in isolation,
however
, in my opinion, the evolution of the
internet
brought family closer despite their distances.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a fair discussion of both sides of the argument. However, try to develop your points further for a more comprehensive response. This would enhance the completeness of your task achievement.
task achievement
Although your ideas are clear, focusing on articulating them more precisely will improve your effectiveness. For instance, ensure your sentences are grammatically correct and avoid wordiness.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but some parts could be more cohesive. Use linking words effectively to make the flow between paragraphs and ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your main points are supported adequately. Some of your arguments need stronger evidence and examples to be more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, giving it coherence and clarity. This clearly presents your opinion, which is important for task response.
supported main points
You provide specific examples, such as mentioning social media usage in the Philippines. This support helps in making your arguments tangible and credible.

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