Some people think that mental health is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #health #factor #success #sports

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the necessary quantity of sportsmen to gain success .

While

some claim that mental health has the most influence, the opposite makes a statement that physical bodies are more significant. From my point of view, it is optimal to combine both factors . Without a shadow of a doubt, people need a high spirit in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

competitions.

This

due to

the fact that the top world players have to engage in a harsh schedule of training so as to cultivate their talents and abilities.

As a result

, they easily suffer from undesirable injuries and some of them make players unable to keep pursuing their dreams, so it is crucial to have a strong mentality to overcome those stresses.

For example

, a talented athlete in a Vietnamese team called Duc Cuong experienced a severe leg break when he was trying to break his record.

However

, he has an unbreakable spirit which has been proved by

the

Change the word

his

show examples

relentless effort after the treatment and

then

successfully achieved the golden medal in an international competition.

Hence

, mental health plays a significant role in

sports

While

the importance of mental factors is widely acknowledged, physical abilities are always indispensable in

sports

activities.

This

could be because traits like muscle strength, durability,

reflex

Correct word choice

and reflex

show examples

make the difference between performance competitors in almost every sport. To be more specific, the sportsmen who came from

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

countries

such

Amerima

Correct your spelling

America

, Denmark or France have more remarkable heights than Asian ones, which is a huge benefit in volleyball and makes them dominate the ranking in all competitions.

Thus

, fitness is the determined element in real matches. In conclusion, each quantity has its own impact on playing

sports

and humans should have both of them to promote the chances of winning.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Jun 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Some sentences are a bit lengthy or awkwardly phrased.

task achievement

Clarify your points further where necessary. Though your essay is generally clear, some ideas could be explained more explicitly to ensure full comprehension.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.

task achievement

You utilize relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the credibility of your points.

task achievement

You effectively address both sides of the argument and provide a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that mental health is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future

Young people’s ideas and attitudes are different from those of their parents and grandparents. What are the differences? What problems may be caused?

Many criminals reoffened after they have been punished. Why do some people contribute to commit crimes after they have been punished, and What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

You bought sone clothing and not satisfies with your purchause Write a letter to the company .in your email Give details of the purchause Describe the problem Explain why you need a replacement urgently