IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

This picture below show how tomato ketchup is made. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

#picture #show #tomato #ketchup #information #features
The pictures highlight the steps involved in producing tomato ketchup. There are 15 stages in the diagram, from picking
tomatoes
 from the tomato tree to consuming them with hamburgers and fries.
The first step is
 that
tomatoes
 are picked and put in baskets, and
then
tomatoes
 are sorted into good and bad
according to
 their quality in order to send them to the factory.
The next step is
 that stalks, seeds and skin are removed before putting
tomatoes
 in containers, and
then
tomatoes
 are crushed inside the containers, after which necessary ingredients namely sugar, vinegar and salt are added to the crushed
tomatoes
.
The following step is
 that the mixture is boiled. Having been placed in the container for two hours, the ketchup sauce is packaged into bottles,
then
 labelling is done. Meanwhile, quality control is carried out, once ketchups are placed in a box.
Following
this
, the boxes are sent to markets.
Subsequently
, you can enjoy it with a burger or fries.
Submitted by oyatilloalisherov159 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides clear and comprehensive coverage of the stages involved in making tomato ketchup. However, it tends to be overly detailed in some areas while missing out on summarization. Try to strike a balance by including only the most significant steps and features.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the sequence of stages is consistently clear and logically organized. While this structure is generally well-maintained, some transitions between steps could be smoother. Use linking words like 'subsequently,' or 'following this' to maintain better flow.
introduction
Your introduction is effective, clearly mentioning the process of producing tomato ketchup and summarizing the main stages.
logical structure
The logical sequence of the steps is generally maintained well, helping the reader follow the entire process easily.
conclusion
Your conclusion successfully wraps up the essay by mentioning the consumption of ketchup with burgers and fries, bringing everything full circle.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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