Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #ages #people #drink #laws #policy

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Numerous nations have a law and obligation that regulates about specific

beverages

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, some nations think by not having a strict regulations is a good

regulation

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, a nation does not need to

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a strong policy about

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

beverages

Use synonyms

, but the rules of selling should be managed. To commence,

beverages

Use synonyms

which contain

alcohol

Use synonyms

have deleterious effects on

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

cancer, heart attack, tumour, and high blood pressure. Not only

Add a missing verb

does these

show examples

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

impact, but

also

Linking Words

it causes a decrease in cognitive thinking or critical thinking. Regarding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem, many nationalities have legal ages to consume it. Indonesia,

for instance

Linking Words

, is

one

Use synonyms

of countries that has strict rule about it;

however

Linking Words

, they do not have

regulation

Use synonyms

at chain of distribution or marketing.

Thus

Linking Words

, young generation drink the

beverages

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without responsibility and

this

Linking Words

becomes another social problems.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, in some nationalities,

alcohol

Use synonyms

becomes

one

Use synonyms

of solutions to get acquintance with others. Some information

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

that these customs and local traditions

affecting

Wrong verb form

affect

show examples

how much amount of liquor

consumed

Add a missing verb

is consumed

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

daily basis. Take the United States as an illustration,

this

Linking Words

prominent country does not have a strict

regulation

Use synonyms

about

alcohol

Use synonyms

. Interestingly,

one

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of its problems is not affected by

alcohol

Use synonyms

nonetheless

Linking Words

, it is through drugs.

To sum up

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

mandatory

Correct article usage

the mandatory

show examples

of the nation is to take care of the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, banning or regulating policy about alcoholic

beverages

Use synonyms

become paramount. These policies should

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

a clear elaboration about rules and

Use synonyms

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

how

Correct word choice

and how

show examples

the stakeholders play.

Submitted by writingbersama on Fri Jun 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to organize your ideas in a clearer structure, such as by using separate paragraphs for each point of view and then a final paragraph for your own opinion. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, ensure that your main points are fully developed with supporting details and relevant examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is essential for the structure of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the issue and includes relevant arguments for each, which is beneficial for a balanced discussion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal drinking age
Underage drinking
Health repercussions
Addiction
Drunk-driving
Responsible drinking
Forbidden fruit
Social rituals
Public health
Safety framework
Risks of alcohol
Cultural differences

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Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.