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Writing Samples
Band 5

the process below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

#process #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon
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the diagram illustrates the information pertaining to the
salmon
Use synonyms
 life cycle
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the whole process commences with
salmon
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 eggs under the reeds at the upper
river
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 and ends with the adult
salmon
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process will continue
to begin
Linking Words
 again when the adult
salmon
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 start mating. In the initial stage, the
salmon
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 eggs hatch at the upper
river
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 after 6 months.In the following stage, they become fry which has a length of 3 to 8 centimetres and live in a lower
river
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,
moreover
Linking Words
, there the flow of the
river
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 is quite fast. After, these small salmons will develop to
smolt
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 after 4 years. Once become the
smolt
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, they continue to immigrate to the open sea and spend 5 years in the open sea on the
last
Linking Words
 evolution,
furthermore
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, the length of the
smolt
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 can be calculated at around 12 to 15 centimetres.The final stage is when the
smolt
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 becomes the mature
salmon
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 which has a length rise to roughly 70-76
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
 and begins to find another gender to mate
then
Linking Words
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the repetition of the life cycle restarts again when the adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 lays eggs.
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task achievement
Consider providing more support and details throughout the essay. Instead of merely listing events in the life cycle, explain their significance and how each stage is connected more elaborately.
coherence
Try to enhance the coherence by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next one. Using more transitional words and phrases could help in making the sequence of events clearer.
coherence
Pay attention to smaller grammar issues and punctuation to enhance clarity and readability. For example, you can avoid run-on sentences by using proper conjunctions or breaking them into simpler sentences.
task achievement
You have covered all the key stages of the salmon life cycle, showing a good understanding of the process.
coherence
The essay presents the process in a logical sequence, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life cycle
  • species
  • freshwater
  • gravel beds
  • juvenile
  • migrating
  • estuaries
  • brackish waters
  • open ocean
  • maturity
  • return journey
  • spawn
  • spawning grounds
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