Some people are born to become leaders, others believe leadership can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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There is an ongoing debate about whether some
people
have the capacity to lead
people
when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
born so
leadership
skills
can be taught.
Although
the former is crucial, it is important for the latter to be prioritized. Without a shadow of a doubt, many
people
are born with the fate to become
leaders
. There are good reasons to note that some
people
own
leadership
as their natural talent and
this
skill can be passed on genetically. To be more specific, the 41th and 43th presidents of America are father and son and they are one of the most well-known
leaders
around the world with their talents in operating a country with many complex issues like the USA.
This
fact
can show
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
that some individuals can own
leadership
skills
if their parents have
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Hence
, through
gene
Fix the agreement mistake
genes
show examples
people
can become the team leader
On the other hand
,
leadership
skills
can be passed down from one person to another. There are justifiable reasons to note that, through traditional classroom settings or online courses
people
can cultivate and thrive
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
skills
.
Furthermore
, if they can practice
leadership
skills
regularly and learn from
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
,
this
skill can be mastered.
For example
, in
this
day and
age
Add a comma
age,
show examples
there are some courses on the Internet provided by top universities
such
as Havard or Stanford where teachers share theoretical knowledge to become
leaders
and some instructions to use
leadership
skills
in real situations.
Thus
, with proper guidance ordinary
people
can become
leaders
. In conclusion,
although
genetics can help individuals become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
, through classes and enough practice
leadership
skills
can be learned.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
In your introduction, clarify both views to set the tone for your essay. This will strengthen your position and provide a clearer roadmap for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical coherence between paragraphs. For instance, explicitly link the idea of natural talent passing genetically to the idea of learning leadership via education for better flow.
supported main points
Spend more time elaborating on your examples to strengthen your points. This will add depth and improve the completeness of your response.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points, which helps in reinforcing your argument.
relevant specific examples
Your use of prominent examples such as the Bush family and online courses from top universities provides concrete evidence to support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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