Nowadays in some countries children are given fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people believe it is a positive development while other argue otherwise. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#countries #children #responsibilities #people #development

On the one hand, supporters of

this

idea refer to the fact that

pupils

who are assigned more

responsibilities

tend to be prepared for more critical situations.

In other words

, if students learn to simultaneously accomplish more than two works, they will unintentionally learn

critic

Replace the word

critical

show examples

management and problem-solving skills. In the United States,

for instance

, schoolchildren are given some

tasks

regarding some existing issues and they would be given extra marks if they were able to solve them. The other viewpoint of

this

group is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

taking

children

seriously and entrusting them with

responsibilities

can cause

children

to show a considerable amount of creativity and

thus

motivation;

consequently

pupils

with higher levels of creativity and eagerness will have a better academic function. In Japan, as an example,

according to

a survey,

pupils

who were

Change the article

apply

show examples

part of an important task showed a remarkable increase in their performance.

By contrast

, opponents of

this

idea point out that giving

pupils

responsibilities

will contribute to their weaker performance at school.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

their excitement for doing specific

tasks

may distract them from their educational scopes. A student who is supposed to fulfill two or three

tasks

might face

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of time and it might lead to his academic underperformance.

Secondly

according to

this

belief,

pupils

are still in the process of learning and are required to be considered novices.

Therefore

, it is better

schoolchildren

Change preposition

for schoolchildren

show examples

concentrate

Fix the infinitive

to concentrate

show examples

on their education path and prioritize their learning targets. In Japan,

for instance

, students are not given extra

tasks

responsibilities

because it is believed that these extra

tasks

are potential sources of distraction. In conclusion, after considering both viewpoints, it seems advisable that

children

should be encouraged to concentrate on their education;

however

, giving more

responsibilities

children

potentially

opening

Wrong verb form

opens

show examples

a pathway

into

Change preposition

show examples

more serious

tasks

later on.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Fri Jun 07 2024

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Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and concise introduction that outlines the topic and your stance. This helps in setting the context for your readers.

Logical Structure

While your essay is logically structured, consider having a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph to make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Supported Main Points

Make sure to connect your examples more explicitly to each point you make. This will strengthen your arguments and show how they support your overall thesis.

Complete Response

Your essay provides a thorough discussion of both views, which is essential for a complete response to the task.

Relevant Specific Examples

You use relevant and specific examples, such as the cases from the United States and Japan, which effectively support your points.

Logical Structure

The logical flow of ideas is commendable, and you manage to maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays in some countries children are given fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people believe it is a positive development while other argue otherwise. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.