The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The human
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has been growing globally. It is argued that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon is the most challenging issue of the current era. There are a
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of causes leading to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay discusses the underlying reasons and my own point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view

It seems that views may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
sating
Correct your spelling
stating

The word sating doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
why I agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, the main reasons involved in
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

growth are related to the advances made in science.
First,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with the
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress

It appears that progresses is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
of medical sciences, the life
expectency
Correct your spelling
expectancy

If you don’t want expectency to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

has significantly increased.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon has two consequences in turn. A growing
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are reaching the fertility age and
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
contribute to reproduction. On the other side, if
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

live
Wrong verb form
lived

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb live. Consider changing it.

show examples
longer, they
woud
Correct your spelling
would

If you don’t want woud to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have been taken into account for the
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

census.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in some developing countries, individuals do not have access to proper healthcare and health education. Taking contraceptive methods as an example, some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are not aware of their use.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will give birth to more children, compared to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in developed countries. It can be claimed that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
demographic growth is the most critical problem that humanity is facing in today's world. Some regions of the world are facing the consequences of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem, and it will
entangles
Change the verb form
entangle

The verb entangles after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
other countries as well. On one hand, as the
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

increases, the detrimental impacts of human activities increase.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in recent decades the increasing
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of various industries has
worsend
Correct your spelling
worsened
worsen
worsens

If you don’t want worsend to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
global warming.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is
mismatch
Add an article
a mismatch
the mismatch

The noun phrase mismatch seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
between the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the natural resources.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in some regions of
Africa
Add a comma
Africa,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in some regions of Africa. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
there is a shortage of water. In conclusion, the rising size of the
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the most vital challenge in today's life. There are some local and some universal reasons which
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject some universal reasons. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
led to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, it could be further strengthened by offering more specific and varied examples to support the points made. Additionally, addressing more global perspectives and possible solutions could enrich the discussion.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary could improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your arguments. Try to elaborate your points with additional details for a better grasp of the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs. Using linking phrases effectively can help to make connections between your ideas more explicit.
coherence cohesion
It's great that you have an introduction and conclusion, both of which restate and summarize your main points. Try to ensure that each paragraph transitions seamlessly to the next to maintain a smooth flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but incorporating more specific examples and statistical data where relevant would add depth to your arguments and make your essay stand out.
task achievement
You have addressed the task comprehensively, identifying clear causes and effects of population growth, and you've presented a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, which helps the reader to follow your arguments easily.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing your argument and providing a sense of closure.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: