More and more people are forgetting the meanings behind occasions, such as national celebrations. What do you think are the causes of it? What solutions do you suggest?

Occasions
such
as national
holidays
, are increasingly forgotten among
people
. The main reason behind
this
is the hectic lifestyle of the population, and the solution would be
giving
Change the verb form
to give
show examples
more days off for the aforementioned
holidays
. The primary cause of
people
failing to remember
such
events is the increase in
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
. Nowadays companies demand a lot from their
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result, there is massive pressure on
people
to cope with the day-to-day work.
Due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
there is less interest and time to celebrate
such
occasions
. In India,
for instance
, 3 out of 5 workers have no idea about the Independence Day of India. The solution to
such
problems would be allocating more
holidays
for all workers around
this
time of the year.
This
will allow
people
to be more excited and plan the
holidays
.
This
will make the public more happy and more thoughtful about the occasion.
For example
, in Amsterdam every year for the king’s birthday, all the residents are given
holidays
and they come together and celebrate it near the canal. It is
also
considered one of the biggest
holidays
in
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and is loved by all the locals and tourists. In conclusion, the failure to recall
such
occasions
by
people
is because of the
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
life.
However
,
this
can be easily addressed by giving
holidays
around
such
occasions
to make sure
people
look forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the events.
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your introduction. While it introduces the topic, it could be slightly expanded to provide a clearer overview of the essay structure and the points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and structure. Some sentences are straightforward, and varying the structure can improve the flow and readability.
task achievement
Provide more depth to your arguments. For instance, the essay could explore additional reasons for forgetting national celebrations, and potentially more nuanced solutions.
task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all sides of the issue. Discuss any opposing viewpoints or additional perspectives to create a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support main points, such as the reference to Amsterdam and India's Independence Day.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by identifying a cause and suggesting a solution.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow and progression of ideas, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural Homogenization
  • Traditions and Customs
  • Interconnected
  • Urbanization
  • Modern Lifestyle
  • Fast-paced lifestyle
  • Digital Platforms
  • Historical Significance
  • Commercial aspects
  • Curriculum
  • Generational Gap
  • Exposure
  • National Celebrations
  • Heritage
  • Preservation
  • Cultural Identity
  • Commemoration
  • Rituals and Traditions
  • Cultural Awareness
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