More and more people are forgetting the meanings behind occasions, such as national celebrations. What do you think are the causes of it? What solutions do you suggest?
Occasions
such
as national holidays
, are increasingly forgotten among people
. The main reason behind this
is the hectic lifestyle of the population, and the solution would be giving
more days off for the aforementioned Change the verb form
to give
holidays
.
The primary cause of people
failing to remember such
events is the increase in work load
. Nowadays companies demand a lot from their Correct your spelling
workload
employes
, Correct your spelling
employees
as
a result, there is massive pressure on Correct word choice
and as
people
to cope with the day-to-day work. Due to
which
there is less interest and time to celebrate Correct pronoun usage
this
such
occasions
. In India, for instance
, 3 out of 5 workers have no idea about the Independence Day of India.
The solution to such
problems would be allocating more holidays
for all workers around this
time of the year. This
will allow people
to be more excited and plan the holidays
. This
will make the public more happy and more thoughtful about the occasion. For example
, in Amsterdam every year for the king’s birthday, all the residents are given holidays
and they come together and celebrate it near the canal. It is also
considered one of the biggest holidays
in Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
,
and is loved by all the locals and tourists.
In conclusion, the failure to recall Remove the comma
apply
such
occasions
by people
is because of the fast paced
life. Add a hyphen
fast-paced
However
, this
can be easily addressed by giving holidays
around such
occasions
to make sure people
look forward for
the events.Change preposition
to
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your introduction. While it introduces the topic, it could be slightly expanded to provide a clearer overview of the essay structure and the points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and structure. Some sentences are straightforward, and varying the structure can improve the flow and readability.
task achievement
Provide more depth to your arguments. For instance, the essay could explore additional reasons for forgetting national celebrations, and potentially more nuanced solutions.
task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all sides of the issue. Discuss any opposing viewpoints or additional perspectives to create a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support main points, such as the reference to Amsterdam and India's Independence Day.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by identifying a cause and suggesting a solution.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow and progression of ideas, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.
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