Some people believe that the biggest problem facing cities is the increasing number of cars. Others say there more serious problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that the large number of automobile production is causing more
problems
while
others think there are other problems
which outweigh the current one. In my opinion, I think other issues
such
as poverty
, health issues
and employment issues
should be addressed.
On the one hand, we can see that the high production of automobiles, especially in cities, is causing problems
such
as pollution and emission of harmful gases and this
in turn affects mankind. For instance
, in India
places like Mumbai Add a comma
India,
is
densely populated and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
high
number of cars where pollution is a main concern and is causing Change the article
a high
the high
problems
such
as asthma and other breathing difficulties. In addition
to this
, we witness accidents and also
noise pollution which affects the elderly and small ones.
On the other hand
, the present world is facing other problems
such
as crime, poverty
and employment issues
. I think the increasing number of crimes makes people more dreadful to live. For instance
, we can see that recently in Israel, lots of kids and women were killed without mercy. Apart from
this
we can Add a comma
this,
also
see that because of the fast-paced environment and increasing population youth find it difficult to get jobs, which is also
a leading cause of poverty
. Moreover
, in some places like India, every hour lots of women and kids are getting raped and still they are not able to get justice also
.
In conclusion, even if automobiles cause problems
, I think that there are some issues
such
as crime and poverty
which is
taking place at an Correct subject-verb agreement
are
unprecedent
growth causing more Correct your spelling
unprecedented
problems
to
mankind.Change preposition
for
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task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that all points are developed thoroughly. While you provided examples, some ideas, particularly around employment and poverty, could be expanded with more specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and points. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your thesis and connects logically to the next. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and your own opinion, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
supported main points
You have identified relevant issues such as crime, poverty, and pollution, showing a good understanding of the topic's complexity.