Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

It is commonly believed that sharing too
much fact
Fix the agreement mistake
many facts
show examples
in scientific
research
, business and the academic world is good. Others think that some information Should be hidden from the public
and
Correct word choice
so
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
anyone
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
can know about them . In my opinion, sharing those kinds of
research
could be helpful in improving the world . On the one hand, publishing a huge number of
research
is absolutely a great idea and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree.
This
can give all the
people
a chance to get the benefits and develop it .
For example
, many inventors around the world do their first
prototipe
Correct your spelling
prototype
based on other
people
's
research
, compleat other
people
's work and other experiences. In
adittion
Correct your spelling
addition
, publishing
this
information can't help the next generation
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reach them
easaly
Correct your spelling
easily
.
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
many smart ideas some inventors have
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the past but they didn't share
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and these ideas died with them .
On the other hand
, some facts should be saved and
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not available to everyone because it will be hard
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
some
people
to understand
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. They will be aware of everything around them and their mind will be busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
random things.
For example
, some
people
when they realise the number of
victiria
Correct your spelling
victims
around them will feel stressed all the time and will
be obsess
Change the verb form
be obsessed
show examples
with cleaning . In conclusion, it is considered by some that Important facts should be hidden.
While
others think that publishing much
research
could be useful. In my view , everyone has the right to access
this
resource because we don't know who is the one who will use it in a genius way.
Submitted by ananan2780 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay needs a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines your main argument. This will strengthen your position and help you stay focused throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay are difficult to follow due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading for grammar and spelling mistakes will improve clarity.
task achievement
Ensure you provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Try to develop each paragraph more thoroughly. Elaborate on each point to add depth and clarity to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: