IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Consumers are faced with an increasing number of advertising by competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are affected? What measurements can be taken to tackle the problem?

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People are witnessing a lot of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 by organizations with a competitive atmosphere.Because of the increasing of different types of
advertisements
Use synonyms
, consumers may be inattentive. The solution to
this
Linking Words
 trend is that some
advertisements
Use synonyms
 should be limited. On the one hand, these days the rate of advertising is reaching the top, but it has a negative impact on humans. In their words, individuals can be faced with different kinds of
advertisements
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as beneficial and detrimental promotions,
while
Linking Words
 they are using their smartphones, which leads them to not pay attention to reliable promotions
due to
Linking Words
 companies with
uncorrect
Correct your spelling
incorrect
 competition .
For example
Linking Words
, youngsters who surf the internet may obtain false information from companies that compete with each other in order to boost income, which leads them to become addicted to unplausible information.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problematic trend, humans should carefully approach it. Individuals should be limited in themselves in terms of watching some kinds of
advertisements
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they are looking for something that they need to purchase.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, organizations should decrease the number of
advertisements
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 and
instead
Linking Words
 enhance the quality of their products. Every industry should establish new
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 in order to truly compete with each other, which can cause humans to not get disturbed. In conclusion, industries should limit terms using
advertisements
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 on social media or sources that people can watch constantly
instead
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 they should improve the quality of their products and
then
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 they do not need to promote theirs in publication

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task achievement
While your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, you can further strengthen your task response by adding more depth to your arguments and providing additional specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure that your ideas are logically connected. Additionally, consider reorganizing some sections for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that all your main points are well-supported with relevant examples and detailed explanations. This will add weight to your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
You have recognized the issue of advertisement overload and its effect on consumers, which is a good start for your task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding the overall cohesiveness of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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