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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countriesSummarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countriesSummarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #weekday #students #three #countriessummarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart
ilustrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 three different
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 that
students
Use synonyms
ini
Correct your spelling
in
 United Kingdom, Japan, and Germany are doing during the weekdays.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 spend about eight
hours
Use synonyms
 of their time
to study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
, and
obout
Correct your spelling
about
 seven
hours
Use synonyms
 for relaxing. They
also
Linking Words
use
Use synonyms
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
seven
Change preposition
of seven
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 to sleep. But not like any other countries,
students
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 prefer to
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 most of their time
to sleep
Change the verb form
sleeping
show examples
 rather than
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying or relaxing. The
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 choose to put relaxing in the 3rd
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 during weekdays. In
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 their weekdays
in balance
Change preposition
for balanced
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. They sleep and study for about eight
hours
Use synonyms
 and relax for seven
hours
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 in Japan have a very big gap between those three
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. They prefer
study
Add the particle
to study
show examples
 for more than 12
hours
Use synonyms
 in a day, which is very
extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
, and only
use
Use synonyms
 four
hours
Use synonyms
 to relax.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side,
students
Use synonyms
 in Germany
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 most of their time
to sleep
Change the verb form
sleeping
show examples
 and
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 keep studying for nine
ours
Correct your spelling
hours
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, hours, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • typical weekday
  • students
  • academic activities
  • leisure activities
  • rest
  • time spent
  • comparison
  • sleep patterns
  • cultural differences
  • educational system
  • commuting
  • variations
  • schedule
  • highlighting
  • differences
  • similarities
  • anomalies
  • amount of time
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