In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

The phenomenon of teaching
children
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in at
show examples
at
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a
show examples
domestic environment rather than
let
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letting
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them go to school has
became
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become
show examples
ever-increasing in recent years.
This
essay is devoted to
weigh
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weighing
show examples
up the pros and cons of
this
nation, followed by equivalent justifications. Without a shadow of a doubt, educating
children
at home can help them avoid some adverse peer pressure in
this
day and age. The chief of
this
is that youngsters easily suffer from negative
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
of their friends
such
as smoking and violent-packed acts because they want to prove their robust characteristics like bravery. By indicating and
support
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supporting
show examples
children
to
aware
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be aware
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of
those mistake
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that mistake
those mistakes
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, parents can help them develop great personalities and
take
Verb problem
apply
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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intensive concentration
in
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on
show examples
learning
Add an article
the learning
a learning
show examples
journey.
Hence
, some parent
keep
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keeps
show examples
their
childs
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children
show examples
at home for
educating
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education
show examples
as they can protect them from detrimental influences of society, especially at school.
While
the benefits of teaching the
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
at home are widely acknowledged, it
way
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may
show examples
do more harm than good. There is a
justificable
Correct your spelling
justifiable
reason is
this
way of education will hinder
children
from improving their
communications
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communication
show examples
skills. They are comparatively necessary since they are required to broaden social erode, which could be a valuable support when
children
are in difficulty. To be more specific, friendships can lend
a
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apply
show examples
synthetic
ears
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ear
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when youngsters have arguments with
parents
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their parents
show examples
,
along with
share
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sharing
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same
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the same
show examples
interest
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interests
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to cultivate their potential talents.
Thus
, if
children
can not access
schooling
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the schooling
show examples
system they will
lost
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lose
be lost
show examples
an
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a
show examples
significant set of
skill
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skills
show examples
for
humans
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human
show examples
lives. In conclusion, the drawbacks of
this
perspective may overshadow the merits. So it is advisable for people to have chances to go to school at
their
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an
show examples
early
ages
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age
show examples
in order to develop fully in all factors.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
You did a good job approaching the topic and presented a clear position on whether the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages. However, try to provide more specific examples to make your argument stronger. This will help in achieving higher clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and paragraphs are logically structured. Ensure to proofread your work to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Improving sentence variety and complexity can also enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, providing a clear start and end to your argument.
task achievement
You have presented some valid points both in favor and against home education, which adds depth to your analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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