In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?
The phenomenon of teaching
children
Change preposition
in at
at
domestic environment rather than Correct your spelling
a
let
them go to school has Wrong verb form
letting
became
ever-increasing in recent years. Change the verb form
become
This
essay is devoted to weigh
up the pros and cons of Change the verb form
weighing
this
nation, followed by equivalent justifications.
Without a shadow of a doubt, educating children
at home can help them avoid some adverse peer pressure in this
day and age. The chief of this
is that youngsters easily suffer from negative behavior
of their friends Change the spelling
behaviour
such
as smoking and violent-packed acts because they want to prove their robust characteristics like bravery. By indicating and support
Wrong verb form
supporting
children
to aware
of Add a missing verb
be aware
those mistake
, parents can help them develop great personalities and Change the determiner
that mistake
those mistakes
take
Verb problem
apply
an
intensive concentration Correct article usage
apply
in
Change preposition
on
learning
journey. Add an article
the learning
a learning
Hence
, some parent keep
their Change the verb form
keeps
childs
at home for Correct your spelling
children
educating
as they can protect them from detrimental influences of society, especially at school.
Replace the word
education
While
the benefits of teaching the youngs
at home are widely acknowledged, it Correct your spelling
young
way
do more harm than good. There is a Correct your spelling
may
justificable
reason is Correct your spelling
justifiable
this
way of education will hinder children
from improving their communications
skills. They are comparatively necessary since they are required to broaden social erode, which could be a valuable support when Change the noun form
communication
children
are in difficulty. To be more specific, friendships can lend a
synthetic Correct article usage
apply
ears
when youngsters have arguments with Correct the article-noun agreement
ear
parents
, Correct pronoun usage
their parents
along with
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
same
Correct article usage
the same
interest
to cultivate their potential talents. Fix the agreement mistake
interests
Thus
, if children
can not access schooling
system they will Correct article usage
the schooling
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
an
significant set of Change the article
a
skill
for Fix the agreement mistake
skills
humans
lives.
In conclusion, the drawbacks of Fix the agreement mistake
human
this
perspective may overshadow the merits. So it is advisable for people to have chances to go to school at their
early Change the word
an
ages
in order to develop fully in all factors.Fix the agreement mistake
age
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task response
You did a good job approaching the topic and presented a clear position on whether the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages. However, try to provide more specific examples to make your argument stronger. This will help in achieving higher clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and paragraphs are logically structured. Ensure to proofread your work to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Improving sentence variety and complexity can also enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, providing a clear start and end to your argument.
task achievement
You have presented some valid points both in favor and against home education, which adds depth to your analysis.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example