Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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People have various views about whether it is adequate to study at
home
Use synonyms
or studying
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
educational environment is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
option .
While
Linking Words
distance programmes can have significant advantages . I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that studying
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
social environment can contribute to more success in the following
feild
Correct your spelling
field
. On the one hand , proponents of learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
believe that
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
us to study in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
silent
Correct word choice
quiet
show examples
area and we can
focous
Correct your spelling
focus
on our school because social places can sometimes be
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
distacting .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
studying at
home
Use synonyms
we can reduce our
expenditure
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expenditures
show examples
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in
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on
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transportation.
Linking Words
also
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also,
show examples
we can save
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
and allocate
transfering
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apply
show examples
time to studying more and more.
For instance
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,
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
show examples
lots of pupils could save money and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time by studying in their private rooms.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, critics argue that distance
progrmmes
Correct your spelling
programmes
can
contributes
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contribute
show examples
to isolation and depression. one of the most vital goals for studying in college or university is making new
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
and interacting with other people , which can lead to magnificent relationships.
in addition
Linking Words
, students can be
encourged
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encouraged
and
improved
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
their sense of accomplishment in social
eductional
Correct your spelling
educational
education
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
because everything is related to education .
For example
Linking Words
, in some
Universities
Add a comma
Universities,
show examples
there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
lots of
programm
Correct your spelling
programmes
and
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
, which can
intersted
Correct your spelling
interest
pupils in their
feilds
Correct your spelling
fields
. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I can understand why some people might have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
, but to me attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
educational societies can lead to valunable
freindships
Correct your spelling
friendships
and enhance our
interset
Correct your spelling
interest
show examples
in learning new things.
Submitted by yasaman.bozorgzad9 on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar, as there are several errors that make the essay difficult to read in places.
structure
Improve the consistency of your arguments by better organizing your reasons and examples under clear topic sentences.
examples
Elaborate more on your points and provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
content
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a balanced view on the topic.
structure
Your conclusion effectively restates your opinion and main points, providing closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-learning
  • Virtual classroom
  • Self-paced learning
  • Asynchronous/synchronous sessions
  • Digital divide
  • Interactive learning
  • Accreditation
  • Webinar
  • MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • Pedagogy
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