In order to be successful in sports, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#sports #people #strength

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Sports

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activities are becoming more and more popular nowadays. National athletes are one of the factors why

sports

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gaining massive popularity.

However

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, there are different views from society stating that in order to have a successful career in

sports

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we need to be physically strong

while

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others said mentally strong is more important. In my opinion, rather than focusing only on one side, we need to maintain the strength of both physical and mental.

This

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essay will elaborate more on

this

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topic. On the one hand,

sports

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competitions mostly evaluate participants by their speed or power.

Hence

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having a stronger body and endurance than our opponent means that we will have a bigger chance to win.

For instance

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, Karate is a martial art which is done by putting 2 participants in an arena to fight each other. If someone has better defence energy or can punch stronger than the other,

then

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he is most likely gonna be the winner.

Thus

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, having a strong body will help them to win.

On the other hand

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sports

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not only rely on physical strength but

also

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on strategy. Most

sports

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done individually will rely a lot on someone's mental.

For example

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, a badminton player, Ginting, has played for Indonesia's national team for a long time and experienced ups and downs throughout his career. He ever said that he was defeated in a competition because of a problem in his daily life which is his mother's sickness.

This

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affected a lot to his mental condition, making him could not concentrate

while

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training and end up lost in the competition,

That is

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why he hired a psychologist to fix his mentality and go back to the competition.

To sum up

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everything that has been stated so far, I strongly agree that being healthy physically is important but in order to be successful we need to balance it with good mental health.

Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on Sat Jun 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps maintain a logical structure. However, consider refining your topic sentences for better clarity. For example, instead of saying, "On the one hand," mention the physical strength and then discuss it. This helps readers understand your main points immediately.

task achievement

You have responded to the task adequately by discussing both perspectives and giving a clear opinion. To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, try to delve deeper into each point. For instance, add more examples or elaborate on how mental strength can influence various sports.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear, well-structured introduction and conclusion. The beginning sets the stage nicely for what will be discussed, and the conclusion succinctly wraps up your arguments.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the anecdote about Ginting, which adds depth to your argument about the importance of mental strength in sports.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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In order to be successful in sports, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?