Science gives people life expectancy of close to 100 years or even more. Some people view it in a positive light, but others believe it creates some problems. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Science and technological advancements have made
people
able to live a longer Use synonyms
life
; Use synonyms
although
, Linking Words
this
is thought to have harmful consequences, many Linking Words
people
believe that there are some positive points about longevity. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints.
On the one hand, supporters of longer lifespans point out that individuals who live longer are able to experience a persistent relationship with their children and even grandchildren, which is a precious grant. It means that everyone can touch the feeling of having his beloved Linking Words
people
by his side for a longer period of time, which is somehow valuable. In India, Use synonyms
for instance
, Linking Words
according to
a conducted survey, Linking Words
people
expressed their deep longing for Use synonyms
the
increase in lifespan as they will no longer miss their beloved family members. Correct article usage
an
Secondly
, if Linking Words
people
knew that they were supposed to live longer, they would make more effort to pick up a healthier lifestyle. In fact, being aware of having a longer Use synonyms
life
opportunity, a person will strive to keep the quality of his Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
in
higher rates in order to have a quality Change preposition
at
life
in older ages.
Use synonyms
By contrast
, the opponents of increased Linking Words
life
expectancy refer to the negative drawbacks that it may bring about. Use synonyms
This
is to say, if a considerable percentage of human beings could stay alive for about 100 years, the average age of the world's population would be around 60 years old. Linking Words
Therefore
, it should be expected that elderly Linking Words
people
take the responsibility of accomplishing some significant positions; Use synonyms
however
, Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
from
these ages are likely to be less productive and creative. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, the other negative point Linking Words
that is
worth considering is that senior citizens are required to be caredLinking Words
, meaning
that even a healthy person at the age Change preposition
for, meaning
80
is more vulnerable compared to a person who is in his 30s. Change preposition
of 80
As a consequence
, it seems that his increased Linking Words
life
expectancy might have some remarkable downsides.
In conclusion, after considering both viewpoints, I am inclined to believe that excessive Use synonyms
life
span can lead to numerous serious problems in societies; Use synonyms
therefore
, it would be better if scientists concentrate on more prior and critical subjects.Linking Words
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear opinion. However, it would benefit from further development and elaboration on certain points. For instance, while you mention that longer lifespans allow for more time with loved ones, you could discuss the potential economic and societal benefits in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider variety of linking phrases and transitional words to connect your ideas more fluidly. This will help your essay flow more naturally and keep your reader engaged throughout.
task response
Make sure each main point is fully supported with specific examples or evidence. Some arguments in your essay could be strengthened by providing more concrete details or statistics to support your claims. This will add depth and credibility to your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to make your conclusion more impactful by summarizing the key points of your discussion more succinctly and reinforcing your opinion.
task response
There is some room to clarify and make your ideas more comprehensive. For example, when you discuss the negative impact of an aging population on productivity, consider incorporating potential counterarguments or solutions to add complexity to your essay.
task response
The introduction clearly states the essay's intention to discuss both viewpoints and presents a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each dealing with a specific viewpoint or aspect of the issue. This structure helps in maintaining a logical flow.
task response
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the survey conducted in India, which adds credibility to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?