Many students have trouble being able to focus on school studies, with their attention span increasingly deteriorating. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Many
students
easily lose concentration on school studies as their
attention
span keeps decreasing over
time
. The reason behind
this
issue
is mainly
due to
the
smartphone
screen
time
has increased dramatically. Involvement from
parents
is the most crucial thing to solve
this
issue
. The main reason why many
students
lose focus easily is
due to
the increase in
smartphone
usage. Most of the applications on
smartphones
use push notifications feature in order to get the
attention
of
students
, which makes
students
distracted.
For instance
, two of the most used applications by
students
, TikTok and Instagram, have an algorithm that offers specific topics that
students
are interested in,
such
as gaming and automotive.
Then
, those applications send push notifications to
students
' phones with the objective of getting the
attention
of
students
. If the push notification arrives when the
students
are studying, huge chance
students
will be distracted and end up playing with their
smartphones
. In terms of solutions, involvement from
parents
is the most crucial part of solving
this
issue
.
Smartphone
features,
such
as parental control, can help
parents
to limit
screen
time
as well as
the content that
served
Add a missing verb
is served
show examples
on the
students
'
smartphones
.
For example
, parental control can control the
students
'
smartphones
to block any access and push notifications from TikTok and Instagram during school
time
, so the
students
can put all their focus on school studies. In conclusion, the increase in
smartphone
screen
time
plays a big part in the decrease in
students
'
attention
span.
Parents
play an important part in solving
this
issue
by limiting the
screen
time
of
students
.
Submitted by rizkyy.utama22 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, it could benefit from further elaboration on other potential reasons for decreasing attention spans in students, aside from smartphone usage.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents logical structure and supported main points. However, improving transitions between ideas and developing paragraphs further could enhance cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by identifying a relevant issue and proposing a practical solution.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly frame the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the mention of specific apps like TikTok and Instagram, add relevance and specificity to the arguments.

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