IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity us used in an average English home.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity us used in an average English home.
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The given charts provide information about how much electrical
power
Use synonyms
 (unit) is used in England during twenty-four hours per day in periods of summer and winter,
along with
Linking Words
 the proportion of
spending
Verb problem
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
. As can be seen from the first line graph,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant amount of
power
Use synonyms
 is used in
cold
Add an article
a cold
the cold
show examples
 period, rather than in summer.
Moreover
Linking Words
, half of the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used for heating the rooms and water.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the first chart, the use of
electricity
Use synonyms
 units in the winter starts at around 35000 and
then
Linking Words
 rises to 40000
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 3:00 am. After that, its use decreases to under 30000 in 7:00 am and
then
Linking Words
 grows dramatically to 40000 till 1 pm.
However
Linking Words
, electrical
power
Use synonyms
 oscillates between 13:00-18:00 pm after reaches a peak at just under 50000 in 21:00 pm. Despite
this
Linking Words
, it drops quickly after 9 pm to 35000,
similarly
Linking Words
 to the usage rate in the beginning of the day.
According to
Linking Words
 the second pie chart, a more than half of
power
Use synonyms
 is spent on heating rooms and water. For other household mod cons,
such
Linking Words
 as ovens, kettle, washing machines,
power
Use synonyms
 usage makes up 17,5%. For other two categories consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
 indicates 15%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, electricity with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demand for electricity
  • typical days
  • line graph
  • seasonal variation
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • exceeds
  • units of electricity
  • distribution of electricity usage
  • heating
  • water heating
  • combined total
  • major uses
  • lighting
  • ovens
  • kettles
  • washing machines
  • miscellaneous appliances
  • electronics
  • total usage
  • account for
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