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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly parents have responsibility to both care of and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should parents intervene in in the lives of their fourteen and fifteen year old children.

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In most
of
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apply
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countries
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countries,
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 teenagers
with
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aged
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age
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of
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apply
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sixteen and
more
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older
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 are awarded some superiority by
government
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the government
a government
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 which makes them
to
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apply
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become more responsible about their actions and watch out
their
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for their
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 behavior properly. It is obvious that as a duty for
parents
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 of under the
age
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 of sixteen
children
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, they are destined to guide their
children
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how
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on how
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 they need to assume their responsibilities correctly. To start with,
it is clear that
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 a teenager’s personality is not completely
build
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built
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 up by the
age
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 of eighteen, so it could be said that
parents
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 have a gigantic duty to educate and
rase
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raise
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 their
children
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as
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in
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 the best way they can. As if
children
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 are growing daily, they are
also
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 struggling with some ups and downs and difficulties which is totally normal for their
age
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 but may
also
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 cause some wrong actions with destructive consequences in future,
this
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 is the time that
presence
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the presence
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 of
parents
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 is so highlighted, they can both show respect to their
children
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’s privacy and independency
while
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 they put their eyes on them and show them the right ways when it is needed.
For instance
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, if
parents
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 find out that their child is stressed out about driving, they can calm him down by teaching him he is capable of doing it.
Moreover
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, it can’t go unnoticed that
parents
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 are responsible for their
children
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’s attitude in society. It is more required for
children
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 who are close to
reach
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reaching
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 the
age
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sixteen
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of sixteen
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 to see how their
parents
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fulfill
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fulfil
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 their obligations and duties as adults, it makes them discover their upcoming responsibilities and try to get
along with
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 them, so it’s kind of smart and undirect intervention of
parents
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 that impact on teenagers without they even realize it. As an example, if
children
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 see that their
parents
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 follow the rules of driving, they learn to do the same subconsciously. It is true that
children
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 should learn how to live by various experiences that they make themselves not just by watching other’s actions and
chose
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choosing
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 whether it is good to do or not, but it is
also
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 necessary for them to be taught by their
parents
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 how to distinguish good from evil and behave as befits a human being in both society and personal life.
To conclude
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, it is important for
parents
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 to intervene in their teenager’s
live
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lives
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 in some points that they don’t ruin
child’s
Correct article usage
the child’s
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 privacy and
independency
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independence
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 but
also
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make
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apply
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effects
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affect
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in
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apply
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their personality by watching him and having his back in hard times. Not to be forgotten that a correct action from
parents
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 can make
children
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 repeat it in future.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses the importance of parental guidance for teenagers approaching the age of sixteen.
task achievement
You successfully highlight the balance between respecting a child's privacy and guiding them when necessary.
coherence cohesion
The essay covers different responsibilities of parents effectively, providing both general and some specific points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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