IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter, remind him when and where you met tell him what kind of job you are interested in say why you think you would be suitable for the job You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..................,

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Dear Mr. Thompson, I am writing to follow up on our conversation during the plane journey from New York to Los Angeles
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 week. As you may recall, we sat next to each other and discussed various topics, including your chain of restaurants. You kindly suggested that I contact you about a possible job opportunity, and I am excited to take you up on that offer. I am particularly interested in a management position, possibly as an assistant manager or a team leader. With my previous experience in the food industry and my strong communication skills, I believe I would be an excellent fit for
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 type of role. I am confident that my passion for delivering exceptional customer service and my ability to work well under pressure would make me a valuable asset to your team. I am impressed by the success of your restaurant chain and the high standards you have set for your staff. I am excited about the prospect of working for a company that values its employees and strives for excellence in everything it does. I would be thrilled to discuss my application and how I can contribute to the success of your restaurants. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, Jadvir

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coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking down your points in the body paragraphs for clarity. For example, you could dedicate separate paragraphs to your experience and your passion for customer service.
task achievement
Try to add a specific example of your experience in the food industry to strengthen your suitability argument.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear structure and flows logically from the introduction to the conclusion.
task achievement
You maintained a professional and polite tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for a job application.
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