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Band 3

Is hard work more crucial for success than talent?

#work #success #talent
It’s argued that
hard-working
Replace the word
hard work
show examples
 is more important than talent.
While
 I disagree with
this
 idea, I do believe these two qualities are both important. It is unreasonable to emphasize the importance of a single factor, because the two depend on each other, and they cannot be separated at all. They just have different functions. Talent affects the speed of comprehending knowledge and determines how fast we can run. Efforts influence the time spent on studying or working
determine
Fix the infinitive
to determine
show examples
 how long we can run.
Therefore
, it is difficult for students who are clever but do not work hard to get ahead in the exams; students who work hard but have poor ability to study cannot achieve satisfactory results either.
People
 can be successful with both of
the
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 qualities.
People
 who work hard but don’t have any talent
is
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 very difficult to be successful,
vice
Correct word choice
and vice
show examples
 versa. Only when
people
 have talents, hard-working can play
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 part more effectively. In
this
 case,
hard-working
Replace the word
hard work
show examples
 can play a key role, since it develops talents into skills, and
then
 skills into achievements. With a high IQ, and at the same time insisting on learning day after day,
then
people
 can make achievements.
Submitted by millstonelee on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion to ensure it encapsulates your key arguments clearly. This helps solidify your stance and gives the essay closure.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and grounded.
task achievement
Elaborate on your ideas more comprehensively. This will ensure your reader fully understands the nuances of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively highlights the interdependence of hard work and talent, which is a sophisticated understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You’ve clearly stated your perspective and structured the essay to support your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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